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Author Topic: Cowboy Poetry
ToadMagnet
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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This one is simply painful. On many levels.

Cowboy Poetry:

Jake, the rancher, went one day to fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty and the clouds rolled gray and dense.

As he pounded the last staples in and gathered tools to go,
The temperature had fallen, the wind and snow began to blow.

When he finally reached his pickup, he felt a heavy heart.
From the sound of that ignition, he knew it wouldn't start.

So Jake did what most of us would do if we had been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head and sent aloft a prayer.

As he turned the key for the last time, he softly cursed his luck.
They found him three days later, frozen stiff in that old truck.

Now Jake had been around in life and done his share of roaming.
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked - it looked just like Wyoming!

Of all the saints in Heaven, his favorite was St. Peter.
(Now, this line ain't needed but it helps with rhyme and meter.)

So they set and talked a minute or two, or maybe it was three.
Nobody was keeping' score - in Heaven time is free.

"I've always heard," Jake said to Pete, "that God will answer prayer,
But one time I asked for help, well, he just plain wasn't there."

"Does God answer prayers of some, and ignore the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square - I know all men are brothers."

"Or does he randomly reply, without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day, the weather or the season."

"Now I ain't trying to act smart, it's just the way I feel.
And I was wondering', could you tell me what the heck's the deal?!"

Peter listened very patiently and when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition, and he said, "So, you're the one!!"

"That day your truck, it wouldn't start, and you sent your prayer a flying,
You gave us all a real bad time, with hundreds of us trying."

"A thousand angels rushed, to check the status of your file,
But you know, Jake, we hadn't heard from you in quite a long while."

"And though all prayers are answered, and God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice, and started a truck in Minnesota."

BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH!


I suppose during his little chat with St. Peter, the rancher explained why he didn't bother to tinker with the starter or anything, and why nobody missed him for 3 days. And it'd be interesting to know how he dealt with the realization that God needs inept angels running around looking for the sender of a prayer.

Blech.

--------------------
Listen ... it's Mellow!

Posts: 927 | From: Virginia | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
sherri_lu
Xboxing Day


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Utah Phillips best cowboy poet ever

Not one of his poems but funny story

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Posts: 1344 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
NansJns
The Red and the Green Stamps


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So much for the theory of the all-seeing, all knowing God. [Roll Eyes] You're right, that's pretty dreadful. Maybe I should MSTie it... [Razz]

*~*NansJns*~*

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Now Jake had been around in life and done his share of roaming.
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked - it looked just like Wyoming!

Um...yeah. I'm sure that's the selling point in their latest brochure. [Roll Eyes]

--------------------
"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
quis_custodiet
Deck the Malls


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quote:
without good rhyme or reason
Which describes this poem in a nutshell...

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quis custodiet

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep - everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Posts: 232 | From: Calgary | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Spam & Cookies-mmm
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by sherri_lu:
Utah Phillips best cowboy poet ever


No! Baxter Black is!

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Posts: 7767 | From: Paradise Ceded | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Brian O'blivion
Deck the Malls


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One seldom hears the "God is both Omnipotent and Inept" theological argument put so eloquently. Should be comforting to someone wondering why their child just died from leukemia.

"And though all prayers are answered, and God is mostly benevolent,
He didn't recognize your voice, and saved some kid in stoke-on-trent."

Posts: 307 | From: California | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
nerdymcnerd
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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[/qb][/QUOTE]No! Baxter Black is!
[/QB][/QUOTE]

I'll second that!

--------------------
Skunks hate the sound of industry.

Posts: 2723 | From: Geneva, Illinois | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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