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Author Topic: Possibly the weirdest spam I've gotten yet
Wild.Otaku
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I got this in my Yahoo mail, titled "The subliminal software they tried to ban 03/18/05"

Of course, I had to look at it.

Here's a couple of pics Spam pic 1

Spam pic 2

Now normally I would have scoffed, deleted it and gone on with my mail checking. But then I saw at the bottom of spam pic 2 what looked like tiny print. I copied it and opened it on Notepad.

This is what I got:

Judges will someday become the mad scientists Copy machine repairmen sing sweetly to crybabies. Self-proclaimed "experts" secretly love junkies. Pianists are similar to English students. According to so-called " men ", baseball pitchers just aren't happy with mailmen. In the dark of night the swashbucklers secretly admire the insurance agents. Men deny the existence of condominium owners. Caribou slap Texaco managers. Old maids worship turtles. Uncles will crush all the shoes! Seismo-zombies have always loved, and always will love, the dinosaurs. Copy machine repairmen are from outer space, say the village elders. True or false: millionaires are insulted if you call them farmers. Witches are bemused by businessmen. Liberal arts majors are looking for cannibals. Children hope to gain the favor of district attorneys. Rolfers like to watch operas about people named "Davis". Gas station attendants burst into tears if they see bookworms. Hospital patients applaud the people. Caribou are from outer space, say the Pepsi distributors. Pirates wave their hats at girl scout leaders. Mailmen deny that mirages remind me of poodles. Rumor spreads that the painters are ready to negotiate with the flatworms.Racing car drivers divorce dairy products. Sanitary engineers have nightmares of Yankees. Rodents debate with karate instructors. Queen bees disappoint the city dwellers. Garbagemen refer to themselves as hypnotists!! Did you know that Europeans massage condominium owners? Why do secretaries think that the mimes donate their bodies to human beings? Uncles shout imprecations at Trekkies. I read in the Lycos newsletter that bestselling authors fight over the hippies! Why do you deny that the marsupials are believed to be psychoanalysts? Locked in the safety of their bathrooms, square dancers maintain that fast food cooks punish worms. Young couples want to rid the world of podiatrists. Why do you deny that the opera singers long for people named "Davis"? According to so-called "hominids ", horses educate the pirates. Why do tenors insist in believing that civil servants are allergic to students? Did you see the PBS documentary about executives which claimed that children are often described as magicians? Children are very motherly towards women! Cat lovers spy on parasites. Why do hard rock geologists deny that the mailmen remind me of tax collectors? Cyborgs secretly admire subterraneans.Was it the topologists who told me that the bookworms show contempt for termites? Fathers search Yahoo for sites on quacks. Old-timers, for the most part, believe judges prefer to be called VCR owners. Technicians follow the herds of Sumo wrestlers. Ants sing sweetly to ghouls. Queen bees were raised by flatworms. Ants claim that the seismo-zombies pander to the whims of milkmen.


Talk about weird. I dunno, those spammers seem to be getting smarter. Has anyone else ran into this?

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Tom, we're flying a giant robot into space! "Safe" isn't the first word that springs to mind! - Colleen, Last Hope, Vol.2

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SkyeTisTheSeasonWynters
Deck the Malls


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o_0

That is just too weird.

Skye

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Peter: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and be lectured by a pervert

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an Em Dash of sugar
Xboxing Day


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I googled the first few sentences and couldn't find anything. That is truly bizarre.
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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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quote:
I saw at the bottom of spam pic 2 what looked like tiny print. I copied it and opened it on Notepad.
It looks to me like just more of the meaningless text that spammers insert into their messages to confuse the filters that attempt to identify and block spam e-mails based on content.

- snopes

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vanilla
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Mailmen deny that mirages remind me of poodles.
[lol]

quote:
According to so-called "hominids ", horses educate the pirates.
Ahhh. So that explains guruwan's pirate! [Big Grin]

ETA: corrected guruwan's name. so sorry!

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I swear, it was funnier in my head.
Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink.

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Fuchsia
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Copy machine repairmen sing sweetly to crybabies.
What do they sing, "Someday, your prints will come..." [fish]

quote:
Copy machine repairmen are from outer space, say the village elders.
Judging by how some of the guys who repair our machines act and look, the village elders may be right.

ETA: The product advertised in the spam was a trip too. And somewhere, some poor sap has purchased the Brain Bullet to "Aim, Fire, Achieve" and boost their mental prowess.

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Nothing makes sense, so let's have no more nothing and stop making sense.

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Fuchsia
Xboxing Day


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This thread made me open some of my junk mail to see if I had any mysterious messages.
Voila, this appeared in light-type at the bottom of a stock trader alert:
quote:
For those who want the longer version... With only a few hours' notice my father was told that he would have to fly to Melbourne for heart surgery. There are just some things that the hospitals in Hobart are not equipped for. With a propensity to panic, an enlarged heart and a heart rate racing at almost double normal speed, 74 year old Dad was considered a bit of a risk. He needed an "escort" and nobody else applied for the job! (He can be a difficult patient!) My sister and brother-in-law drove us to Hobart airport where Dad and I were "loaded" onto a forklift contraption as his doctor had ordered he was not allowed any exertion. Dad was highly embarrassed about all of this but I enjoyed every minute of it and had to be restrained from giving my other rels "the finger" from mid air. Happily for Dad he didn't see anyone he knew. At Melbourne airport we got a ride in a buggy thingo for disabled people. Dad was again embarrassed but I thought it beat walking. The only person who knew either of us called, "G'day Fran!" with great enthusiasm as we sped past but I think Dad was hiding under his coat.
Another message contained information about why someone purchased their VW bug. Both sounded like they came from message boards. I wonder if spammers trawl message boards and pick up long blocks of text to confuse the filters.

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Nothing makes sense, so let's have no more nothing and stop making sense.

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B Hamilton
Xboxing Day


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I've been getting strange spam mail almost daily. It comes with attachments that I never open but the text message is weird. Here is one I got today from Summery Q. Caroline:
"Wend na kond wakat
A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate.
Everybody hates a prodigy, detests an old head on young shoulders.

The more one loves a mistress, the more one is ready to hate her.
Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.Come children, let us shut up the box and the puppets, for our play is played out.

The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.

Grammar is the grave of letters.
Fear makes men believe the worst.
The way of the world is to make laws, but follow custom.
A hero is someone right who doesn't change.

The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.
Humility is indeed beatness, a compulsory virtue that no one exhibits unless he has to.
Count not him among your friends who will retail your privacies to the world.

Instinct is untaught ability.

The day of small nations has long passed away. The day of Empires has come.
From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

There is no odor so bad as that which arises from goodness tainted."

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"This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little & broken but still good."

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Kathy B
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Bev, you are just getting garden-variety spam. One tip-off is the "from" field. If the name looks like random dictionary words, you've got a spammer, not a phisher or someone sending out viruses. As snopes notes, all that text is loaded in to foil ISP-level spam filters, These filters go by both words and word-frequency. So "many enhancement" might stand out in a 10 word message, but get buried in a paragraph from some book or a randomly generated list of words.

The attachments are almost certainly meant to be loaded as in-line images, but yo may have your settings set so that they don't load. I find that almost all are either pharmaceutical ads or lonely-housewives-want-to-meet-you-today.

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The plural of "anecdote" is not "data."

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callee
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I just got this wierd one in my inbox. The subject line was for "go od pharmaceuticals" but inside this was the only content:

quote:
Hello,

They came and the matter was laid before them by M. de Cussy hims
command at the very moment of impact. As a result, the founderin
aboard. You are to understand that I have turned the tables on m
all that he had endured seemed as nothing. To Pitt, this separat
boarding-party in person. Briskly he explained himself to his
yourself the Admiral of the Navies of the Catholic King? We shal
precisely what they must do to meet the attack, preparations for
D'ye hear that now? And did ye ever hear the like? But what di
attracted to each other before the Royal Mary was warped out of S
plucked at his uncle's sleeve. There they go! he cried, and
lay directly between himself and the Royal Army. You also know
If the Spaniards had reached it, there would be lights. He knock
main defences. Away beyond it, a mile or so distant, a sail was
for sarcasm, interposed a suggestion bitterly.
himself ready to set sail at once.

Have a good day.



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a moment for old friends now estranged, victims of the flux of alliances and changing perceptions. There was something there once, and that something is worth honoring as well. - John Carroll

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Fuchsia
Xboxing Day


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Callee: that sounds like an excerpt from some British sea-faring novel along the lines of "Master & Commander," except from the 1500-1600s.


ETA: A good name for this tripe would be "smap"

Fu "anagram angst" chsia

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Nothing makes sense, so let's have no more nothing and stop making sense.

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Lady L
Squall of Me


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I get more of these dumb emails than anything. I used to open them up and read them to my husband, but I caught on to the tricks after a while. [Smile]

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The Snopester formerly known as RooBug

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Kathy B
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Callee's excerpt is bits & pieces from Captain Blood by Rafael Sabatini, published in 1922. He wrote a number of swashbucklers, including Scaramouche.

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The plural of "anecdote" is not "data."

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Llewtrah
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I used to get loads of adult spam at work (until the company finally put in filters last month) and I thought I would eventually end up with all of Pride and Prejudice through text the spammers put in to beat Bayesian filters. If you look at some html spam, the text is in 1 pt text and easily missed unless you look at the source file.

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Messybeast Cat Resource Archive
Llewtrah's Soapbox

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callee
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Kathy B:
Callee's excerpt is bits & pieces from Captain Blood by Rafael Sabatini, published in 1922. He wrote a number of swashbucklers, including Scaramouche.

you are totally impressive!

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a moment for old friends now estranged, victims of the flux of alliances and changing perceptions. There was something there once, and that something is worth honoring as well. - John Carroll

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moonfall86
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Do some people enjoy wasting our time by sending stupid crap to random e-mail addresses?

Wild Otaku's original post looks like something somebody ran through babelfish or another translator.

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Chris J
Hotel California Roll


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The weird content of the OP does kinda work on a certain level if it's recited in a beatnik style over top of coffeehouse jazz music. Like, far out, man.
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laura 2
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Kathy B:
He wrote a number of swashbucklers, including Scaramouche.

But did he do the Fandango?

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My Belly Dance Business - Galatea Middle Eastern Dance - www.galateadancer.com

Q: What's the difference between an onion and a mizmar?
A: No one cries when they cut up a mizmar.

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Felessan
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by laura 2:
quote:
Originally posted by Kathy B:
He wrote a number of swashbucklers, including Scaramouche.

But did he do the Fandango?
Bismillah! We will not let you go!

--------------------
You fool! That's not a warrior, that's a banana!
- a surreal moment in a role-playing game

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petre
Deck the Malls


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Some text is pulled from famous works, other times a text generator is used. Some of these techniques have been used for years by Scientology followers to spam up the anti-Scientology news groups [Smile]

The generators use grammar rules and a lexicon to construct gramatically correct sentences, though they often have no meaning.

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously [Smile]

Edit: typo

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Emerald Tiger
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I just recieved the strangest spam I've ever gotten. I'm pretty sure this is a scam:
quote:

Greetings!

I hereby request your investment assistance and further explicit investment information about your country confidentially. I need you to read this email message carefully because it is very imperative.

I am Prince Hakim F. Bolkiah, the eldest son of Prince Jefri Bolkiah who was the former Finance Minister of Brunei, located in the northwest of
the island of Borneo. Brunei Darussalam is a small country governed according to Islamic values and traditions by His Majesty Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu' izzaddin Waddaulah. The country's official name is Negara Brunei Darussalam ('abode of peace'). It is a member of APEC, ASEAN and BIMP-EAGA as well as the United Nations and the British Commonwealth.

I will save your time by not amplifying my extended Royal Family history which has already been disseminated by the international media during the controversial dispute that erupted between my father and his stepbrother, the sultan of Brunei Sheik Muda Hassanal Bolkiah.

As you may know from the international media, the sultan had accused my father of financial mismanagement and impropriety of US$16.8 Billion. This was as a result of the Asian financial crisis that made my father
company Amedeo Development Company and government owned Brunei Investment Agency
to be declared bankrupt during his tenure in office. Prince Jefri was relieved of his post as Finance Minister of Brunei and was stripped of his chairmanship post as head of the nation's international investment arm, the Brunei
Investment Agency in February 1998. The Agency controls 13 companies & Brunei's overseas
assets. In July 1998 the Sultan barred trading by Amedeo when the world's biggest corporate debt of US$16 Billion came to light.

In September the 1998, the Sultan ordered an investigation of the BIA by accountants KPMG after the Brunei government alleged that 'large sums of money' had been misappropriated to companies controlled by Prince Jefri.
The Sultan then asked the Bank of England to help track down an alleged L28 Billion of state and family funds said to be 'missing'. On the
02/10/1998 Prince Jefri Bolkiah flew from London in a private jet and was going to settle matters directly with Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah.

Prince Jefri drove straight to his seaside palace at Jerudong, about 10 miles south of the capital, Bandar Seri Begawan. He was due to meet
with officials of the Amedeo Development Corporation and visit the sultan. Relations
between the Royals appeared to deteriorate quickly. However, my father was kept under house arrest, his bank accounts and private properties
including a crude oil export refinery & the sultan also strip my father of controle
over three large oil wells which were later confiscated by the sultanate.

Furthermore, during this unfortunate period i was advised to evacuate myimmediate family outside the sultanate to avoid further prosecution from the sultan and his security operatives, but before I could do that I was placed under house arrest by, the Sultan. I have a Palm V hand-held computer from which
I am sending you this mail.

You could get through these below listed websites for more references:-

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/681413.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/747468.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/1494944.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/670959.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/1489354.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/1484496.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/821815.stm

Before my arrest, I went ahead to dispatch the sum of US$50Million in cash under special arrangement into the custody of a Private Security and Trustee Company for safe keeping abroad, besides the US$10Million that I have
with a bank in Europe. The money where kept in Spain, (Europe) I am unable to reach my friends & associates whom would have provided all the much needed moral and financial assistance i require because my diary have being siezed by my uncle Sheik Muda Hassanal Bolkiah who is also
the Sultan of Brunei. Hence, I seek your good assistance to receive and invest these funds into profitable investment in your country to facilitate future survival for my family abroadwhich is very important tome. I will
compensate you adequately for your strong cooperation.

I am counting on your absolute confidentiality and transparency while looking forward to your prompt reply towards a swift conclusion of this
business transaction.
Please you can include all your direct personal informations and phone number why replying. My private email address is: prince_hakim121@yahoo.com OR
prince_hakim@islandmail.cc

Please direct all correspondence to these mail address correctly.
May God's blessing remain with you & guide on the straight path, Amin.

Warm personal regards,
Prince Hakim F. Bolkiah,
Brunei Darussalam.


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Floater
Xboxing Day


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That's just a common or garden Nigerian Scam Mail. Surely you most have received such mails before.

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Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

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Emerald Tiger
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Nope I haven't recieved this type of e-mail before. I've received chain letters but those are mostly from my friends and relatives or random spam but that's all on my hotmail account. My yahoo account usually doesn't have any e-mail in it (just the welcome to Yahoo e-mail). That's why I found this one weird.
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zman977
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I recieved some span that I don't know if I'd call it weird but it was funny to me. It said,
"meet your Chritian soul mate". Now I'm already married so if I were to meet my Christain soul mate I would then be cheating on my heathen soul mate. Last time I checked it was unchristian to have an affair. Pluss should Christain's be sending spam? Isn't there some commandment about thou shall not spam?

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Check out the podcast at www.candidradio.com

Ever notice how we always fall in love? We never climb gently in to love, or step lightly in to love. If love is such a good thing than why is it described as a fall.

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InfraPurple
The First USA Noel


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That one was on the tablet Moses dropped.

I'd offer points for reference, but it's too easy.

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While I wasn't falling down or anything, gravity and I did have an interesting relationship for a short time. - Purple Iguana

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by Emerald Tiger:
Nope I haven't recieved this type of e-mail before.

Concider yourself lucky.

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Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

Posts: 1334 | From: Sweden | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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