Michigan Girl
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
quote:Originally posted by Signora Del Drago: Even after Michigan Girl got a tad snarky with Christie, Christie still expressed sympathy for her.
Umm, Christie was snarky first. She assumed me to be psychic and know that they were going to slash my tires. Basically she said that I deserved it for calling the police. Is that sympathy? Maybe where you come from. I can be snarky all I want, if someone has that attitude. I think she lives in my building, because that is what I heard someone say. There are legal remedies to situations. I took the legal remedy, instead of the down-and-dirty tactic that they used. Should I have lowered myself to their level? I would have to be below the gutter to do that.
I can't "bite the bullet and move" unless it's to a shelter. If anyone wants to send me money to move, feel free. But everyone doesn't have the means to just up and move.
quote:Originally posted by Signora Del Drago: By the way Michigan Girl, while it is true that you started this thread, you do not own it. It is not your thread. It is a thread.
Read what Jenn said:
quote:Originally posted by Jenn: I'm going to need you to explain to me what on earth that has to do with anything being discussed in this thread. Because if this is just you bringing up your own problems with other posters from other threads, this is not the time or place. Perhaps you ought to be contacting them privately to discuss it or just ignoring them and getting on with your life. Calling them out in a thread for unrelated issues is not the way to go about it.
So I can ask someone to take it outside my thread.
-------------------- ~ Yep, I'm in Michigan ~ My blog http://catsrule2k.blogspot.com/ I am not willing to give up my constitutional freedoms just because I have nothing to hide Posts: 142 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2006
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Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Michigan Girl: Umm, Christie was snarky first. She assumed me to be psychic and know that they were going to slash my tires. Basically she said that I deserved it for calling the police.
She did not. You have to really twist what she said to take that meaning from her post.
-------------------- Assume that all my posts will be edited at least once. Dyslexic -- can't spell, can't type, can't proofread. Posts: 8317 | From: Reading, PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Signora Del Drago: Even after Michigan Girl got a tad snarky with Christie, Christie still expressed sympathy for her.
Umm, Christie was snarky first. She assumed me to be psychic and know that they were going to slash my tires. Basically she said that I deserved it for calling the police. Is that sympathy? Maybe where you come from. I can be snarky all I want, if someone has that attitude. I think she lives in my building, because that is what I heard someone say. There are legal remedies to situations. I took the legal remedy, instead of the down-and-dirty tactic that they used. Should I have lowered myself to their level? I would have to be below the gutter to do that. ~snip~
I have read and re-read Christies post and I dont see anywhere that she said you were psychic and got what you deserved. To be honest, if you call the police on trash like that multiple times, it is only common sense to expect something to happen. Is it right ? No, but it happens. I am in no way shape or form saying that it is acceptable, but I personally would have expected retaliation. I wish I had an answer for you but I dont. You do have my sympathies as well though.
-------------------- I looked at my sleeping husband and longed to plunge my elbow through his peaceful face. ~ Annissa Posts: 381 | From: Nashville | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Michigan Girl, I was alone with three small children and sometimes wondered where our next meal was coming from and sometimes even had to put my children to bed hungry, so I can see why you can't just pick up and move, but did anyone know how poor you are when that suggestion was made? I can't speak for others, but I didn't know it.
I had a lot more to say but suddenly realized I would just end up going 'round and 'round in circles with you, so I'm taking Jenn's advice and dropping it.
I hope the situation gets better for you.
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
I live in a neighborhood where I have to call the police every month or so. I called them this weekend for neighbors fighting and yelling. In the 11 years I have lived here (and called the police on neighbors) I have never had retaliation. I was threatened one time. The guy went to my sister's house and told her to tell me that "She has to sleep sometime." (which I reported to the police). We went to court on the case, he was fined, and I have called the police on him over the years 4 or 5 times. The police know that if anything happens at my house, the finger will be pointed at the latest problem. While it may not be a given if you call the police on someone that they might retaliate, it is a possibility. It all depends on the neighbor. If they have no respect for the law or community, then retaliation is more of a probability.
MG, I would say document everything. Check the link given for violations, get legal assistance, but be prepared to move, because it might just get worse. Wishing you the best of luck. Kim
-------------------- Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses. Danvers Carew Posts: 7465 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote:Originally posted by Signora Del Drago: Even after Michigan Girl got a tad snarky with Christie, Christie still expressed sympathy for her.
Umm, Christie was snarky first. She assumed me to be psychic and know that they were going to slash my tires. Basically she said that I deserved it for calling the police. Is that sympathy? Maybe where you come from. I can be snarky all I want, if someone has that attitude.
And here I thought "She started it!" as a defense ended around kindergarden.
-------------------- IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Signora Del Drago: Michigan Girl, I was alone with three small children and sometimes wondered where our next meal was coming from and sometimes even had to put my children to bed hungry, so I can see why you can't just pick up and move, but did anyone know how poor you are when that suggestion was made? I can't speak for others, but I didn't know it.
From Michigan Girl's original post:
quote: I can't afford to get my car fixed, and I can't afford to move anywhere else.
quote:Originally posted by Michigan Girl: Umm, Christie was snarky first.
Two things, Michigan Girl, off that:
1) That you could read any form of snark into what Christie wrote just astounds me.
2) Even if she had been snarky to you first, "The other guy started it" defence doesn't work here.
quote: She assumed me to be psychic and know that they were going to slash my tires. Basically she said that I deserved it for calling the police. Is that sympathy?
It's not sympathy but it is support, and of the two the latter is far more useful. I think you're parsing "support" as "commiseration," and while that is a form of support, it's not the all of it.
And no, she did not mean you deserved to have your tires slashed for having called the police. But that was, as she pointed out, a foreseeable outcome of your having blown the whistle on your neighbours. If you hadn't given thought to the possibility of this happening, there is something wrong with the thinking process you used to arrive at your decision to call the police.
quote: I can be snarky all I want, if someone has that attitude.
Not here you can't. If you truly think that (as opposed to were just saying that for effect), you need to know this is the wrong message board for you and that if you stay that course, you will soon be given the boot.
quote:Originally posted by Michigan Girl: I can be snarky all I want, if someone has that attitude.
Yeesh, it really is like Kindergarten. "She started it!" didn't over well when we were 5 and it doesn't go over much better now, particularly when one must go through all kinds of contortions to read snark in Christie's post.
quote:Read what Jenn said:
quote:Originally posted by Jenn: I'm going to need you to explain to me what on earth that has to do with anything being discussed in this thread. Because if this is just you bringing up your own problems with other posters from other threads, this is not the time or place. Perhaps you ought to be contacting them privately to discuss it or just ignoring them and getting on with your life. Calling them out in a thread for unrelated issues is not the way to go about it.
So I can ask someone to take it outside my thread.
Actually, no you can't. Well, I guess you can politely ask, but don't expect anything to happen since thread hijacks aren't against any rules. Signora Del Drago was quite correct that you do not own a thread you start and you don't have the right to dictate what happens in it. You seem to have misunderstood my post and the posts of others calling tribats out on the nature of her post, so I will try to clarify, because I certainly was not giving you the green light to demand your thread not stray from the path:
I don't care that anyone hijacked the thread, but I do care that tribats dragged non-participants into a thread to tell them off for unrelated things. That was inappropriate and she needs to take it off board or keep it to herself. This was the point of my post in addition to the posts of others. Pointing out to a poster that a specific post or tactic is unfair, uncalled for, and generally not appropriate for this board (particularly when one of the people pointing it out is a moderator) is not the same thing as you having the right to dictate what happens in a thread you start. Is that clearer?
-------------------- "You're the opposite of troll. It's a compliment!" Posts: 12086 | From: Alberta | Registered: Feb 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Signora Del Drago: Michigan Girl, I was alone with three small children and sometimes wondered where our next meal was coming from and sometimes even had to put my children to bed hungry, so I can see why you can't just pick up and move, but did anyone know how poor you are when that suggestion was made? I can't speak for others, but I didn't know it.
From Michigan Girl's original post:
quote: I can't afford to get my car fixed, and I can't afford to move anywhere else.
Pretty clear right there.
Thanks. I sit corrected. Sorry I missed that in the very long OP, but, since I missed it, I honestly didn't know she was that poor, so my post stands as is. Again, I can't speak for others, but it is possible that others also missed it. Maybe MG could get some assistance through some kind of community program or a church.(?) Just trying to think of ways to help. I was too proud to ask for help for a very long time, but there comes a time when pride falls by the wayside.
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Barbara: It's not sympathy but it is support, and of the two the latter is far more useful. I think you're parsing "support" as "commiseration," and while that is a form of support, it's not the all of it.
Cool... I learned something new today (namely the difference between support and commiseration) thanks to you! Had to look up what commiseration meant (just because I can use it correctly in a sentence, doesn't mean I know what it means ), but thanks! I try to learn at least one new thing everyday and you fulfilled that quota!
quote:And no, she did not mean you deserved to have your tires slashed for having called the police. But that was, as she pointed out, a foreseeable outcome of your having blown the whistle on your neighbours. If you hadn't given thought to the possibility of this happening, there is something wrong with the thinking process you used to arrive at your decision to call the police.
I think what may *potentially* be the problem here is possibly the irrelevance of making such a statement. I'm going to try and not jump to any conclusions here, but I would like to add two cents worth of thought on this.
One of my personal pet peeves, that sometimes can get the better of me, is people being hypocrits. Unfortunately, everyone is a hypocrit (in some fashion) and thus I sometimes am annoyed with myself as well . In this case though, if I may, I'd like to draw on what I think is a parallel example - one in which making the statement "you should've seen it coming" does more harm then good.
Say, for sake of argument, a personal sexually assaults someone. Then, while leaving says to the victim "don't tell anyway or I'll rape and kill you". The victim doesn't want to take this though and comes forward. After coming forward, the other person is cited with the offense, but gets out on bail, comes back, rapes and attempts to murder the victim (but my some miracle the victim survives). While the victim is recovering in hospital, they come onto this message board and tell their story. Someone responds.. "I feel for you, and offer my support, but you should've seen it coming".
Now obviously the example doesn't run 100% perfect (as I think most people will agree comparing any rape/murder case to any non-rape/murder case is like comparing apples to oranges). Even so, if viewed from this perspective, the statement of "you should have seen it coming" no matter when it is said, negates any goodwill offered.
I guess another way to look at it, and perhaps less radically then my example, is that "you should have seen it coming" could be viewed as condescension to the original poster and thus, even if it is supporting is considered unwelcome. Maybe? That's just my perspective on this side issue. Thoughts?
To Note: I use the rape/murder example and mentioned my dislike of hypocrits to get across why I am choosing to respond to this. Christie, (please note I'm not trying to be snarky), in my above mentioned example, would you tell the victim they "should have seen it coming"? would you think it appropriate to tell them? I don't presume to speak for anyone else on here, nor you, but given the *general* issues that concern you - and get discussed on the board from time to time -, I have my doubts you would tell that victim they should have seen it coming. That, personally, why it bothers me (because of aforementioned potential hypocritical nature) and from this can you see why your comment might have bothered others?
In terms of the OP and following comments - MG, I offer my support for you... I hope you're able to get past the difficulties and maybe even improve your neighbourhood a little in the process. Make your world better one step/event at a time!
Edit: Name mix up in my head, fixed... it's a long story, but apologies.
-------------------- When p.c. actions become so inane they're absurd, my opinions won't be far behind. Posts: 102 | From: Regina, SK, Canada | Registered: Nov 2005
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Michigan Girl
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
Thank you Rixel. And no one can "see it coming" unless they are psychic, or have had that exact situation happen before. I have had to call the police when someone was trying to break their daughter's door down. And my car stayed intact. I have had problems with other trashy neighbors, and nothing happened to my car. They bitched about me to everyone, but I don't really give a rat's butt what trashy people think.
I didn't mean to seem to attack you, Christy. I just feel that it was wrong of you to assume that I would know what would happen. That is what I meant about you saying I should be psychic. You don't know my mind, and you aren't in my shoes. Read about the problems I have had with other neighbors, and they did not take their anger out on my car. These were new neighbors that had just moved in. IMHO that is not supporting, that is condescending. Being condescending doesn't help anyone, it just makes them feel like they are stupid. I know, that is how my sister has treated me all my life. Being supportive can mean commiserating, or offering some constructive advice. Those are welcome. Condescention is not.
I want to apologize for any snarkiness previously on my part. I tried to avoid that here, and to explain my feelings about what was said and my feelings about it. I just feel that some of what was said was condescending, which IMHO is not support. Enough about that!
Signora Del Drago, I'm sorry you had to go through that in the past. I have not gone through anything that rough, I can only imagine how that felt.
There aren't any local agencies that could help me. This is a small town area. I will probably have to spend my own money getting it fixed, as well as getting a video camera to point out the window. What I might do is get one that doesn't work and place it conspicuously in the window, which may do the trick as well as one that works, as long as it makes them not want to get caught doing more to my car.
Michigan Girl.
-------------------- ~ Yep, I'm in Michigan ~ My blog http://catsrule2k.blogspot.com/ I am not willing to give up my constitutional freedoms just because I have nothing to hide Posts: 142 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
MG, so sorry you're going through this. Keep looking for local agencies, perhaps thru local churches or Community Chest, Red Cross, etc. It would be great if you could get your car fixed in case you did decide to move.
As far as the landlord/manager/realtor's response, keep in mind that even the police said it was MG's word against the neighbor's as far as the noise was concerned, even after the Police Depatrtment had a report on them from a previous visit. Landlords (in Ohio anyway) really do not have the power to summarily throw people out of where they live very often. And, in most of the cases where they can force a tenant to move, it takes months before an eviction happens thru the court system. In the meanwhile, the tenant being forced to move is still living there causing whatever trouble they can get away with if they are angry enough about being evicted. Not saying that the landlords are perfect (not one human I know is perfect), but keep in mind that it would also be very difficult to prove the repeated noise situation--it would be the landlords' word versus the noisy neighbor as well, even with documentation from the one visit from the Police Department.
I'm not defending the landlords' actions here, just wanting to give a little perspective. Please do not think that landlords or managers have any more power than the Police, I guess is what I'm saying... Do your neighbors get noisy at the same times during the day? Maybe if you could get the realtors to come over and hear the noise level firsthand it might help.
-------------------- Let's just pretend we're normal for a minute ~ New favorite T-shirt quote Posts: 1193 | From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2004
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Michigan Girl
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
quote:Originally posted by Menolly: As far as the landlord/manager/realtor's response, keep in mind that even the police said it was MG's word against the neighbor's as far as the noise was concerned, even after the Police Depatrtment had a report on them from a previous visit.
Not sure where you get that from (that it's my word against the neighbors). The police gave them a ticket because it was too loud. It states that in the police report. The Management had said it was my word against the neighbors, but that was before they read the police report.
Thanks for the support.
-------------------- ~ Yep, I'm in Michigan ~ My blog http://catsrule2k.blogspot.com/ I am not willing to give up my constitutional freedoms just because I have nothing to hide Posts: 142 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
One police report doesn't label someone a chronic troublemaker, MG. The next time you call the landlord he may very well believe you, but it's still your word against your neighbors when it comes down to it.
If someone saw your neighbors damage your car, have them file a police report. Again, your landlord does not have as much as or more authority than the police. That's all I meant.
-------------------- Let's just pretend we're normal for a minute ~ New favorite T-shirt quote Posts: 1193 | From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2004
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