Okay, I can understand that you don't want controversy and everything. But every time we're reading the Lord's Prayer/parable of the Prodigal Son/any other religous text in a dead language, is it really necessary to go on a spiel about how you have no alterior motive and are not trying to evangelize us?
We're taking higher-level courses. Many of us have a decent knowledge of history. I think we're smart enough to realize that a lot of documents in dead European languages are religiously motivated.
I'm not sure why you feel you have to make a show of reassuring us, but it's kind of annoying.
Regards, Izzy
Dear skin,
Not that. Please, please, please not that.
Your owner
-------------------- A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!" Posts: 506 | From: Missouri | Registered: Dec 2005
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Yeah, that's the way to support me . When I tell Alyssa that she is NOT going to her friend's house after the way she behaved (threw a tantrum because she had to do homework then lied to me saying it was done when it wasn't and throwing another tantrum for being called on it) you are supposed to back me. Instead you told her that you would "over-rule Mommy" and if she finished her homework, you would let her go .
Don't you DARE get mad at me when I told Abby to go to you for her punishment when she spit at the kitten for scratching her!
Signed,
The woman who loves you but is going to be having a word with you after the kids go to bed.
My mom and dad watched Family Guy with me this summer to see what all the fuss is about. They laughed through the whole thing. The next day they were telling my brother how awful and distasteful the show was! Hypocrites.
-Starla
-------------------- This used to be the life, but I don't need another one. MyBandwagon Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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You left over a week ago, but you are still pissing me off. Not good for a woman trying to get pregnant. Especially one who had to pay so much freaking money to get that way. (oh the jokes, people! The jokes!)
I learned that every single one of your stories has to be taken with salt. Not a grain of salt though, huge, frelling ROCKS of salt. According to BIL, no one drives or has driven his new car since he bought it except him and the guy that changes the car's oil. Lemme check.... yup, that all he said - and very adamant about it too. No FIL behind the wheel. According to you, local celebrities dine at your favorite hang out and sit and chat with you for hours on end. Ya'll are best friends in your stories! Yeah. Your wife stated that that was a charity event that you guys paid money to attend. These were your best stories this week and both were exagerations. Both had no need for exageration, so why the need to make yourself look better or more importnat than you are? You are already surrounded by peope who love you no matter what you do, there is no need for little white lies in your stories. Especially when you "honor the truth" so much.
Lay off the "girlfriends." Every other story involves you winning over some woman so you can get your way. They then become one of your "girlfriends" even though that 15 minute exchange is the only time they will ever appear in your life. If not, then they become one of the ladies that "love you" and love everything about you and your jokes and your stories, and are also added to the "girlfriend" list you apparently have going. Yes, I got testy. Yes, I got offended everytime you said "one of my girlfriends" around me and actually said something when you tried to attach that label to a female friend of ours to your son. One day (soon) I will tell you how offensive it is for you to say that in front of your son, me, your grandkids, and most importantly, your wife. Your attitude towards woman explains so much to me and helps me reason out why my MIL acts as she does around other women, her daughter, and especially her granddauther. Thankfully, I think your wife is seeing that I don't respond to you so that she and I can actually try to have a pleasant relationship and not one where she hates my guts because you are an ass.
BTW, remember that talk DH had with you when we were dating about inappropriately touching me? The one that you have apparently taken to heart becuase you are very cautious about hugging and touching me altogether? The next time you visit, there will be another talk. Again, it will be about inappropriate touching. But this time, it will not be about me - it will be about the girls. You know, the 12 and 14 year old ones you kept calling "beautiful" 15 times every two minutes. The ones, by the looks on their faces, you were totally creeping out. Especially the one who my parents witnessed you hug with your hands in borderline inappropriate places and I later saw you touch border-line inappropriately in my bedroom (on her lower leg, I was right next to her). There will be a talk between DH and you to make sure that it never happens again. Especially with you talking about moving back out here next year. A good rule of thumb - if you won't touch the boys there, don't even think about it with the girls.
Your DIL, vanilla
I am so glad DH and I have agreed that we do not want his parents to watch our kids unsupervised. I don't trust them and do not like their ways of disciplining. This just sealed that coffin shut.
-------------------- I swear, it was funnier in my head. Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink. Posts: 2493 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2003
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Ok I know you hate me. Fine. But today was the last fricking straw. I put a wash on at 11 this morning and didn't get around to going to put it in the dryer until about an hour ago. And what to my wondering eyes should appear but water EVERYWHERE. Thanks so much. The hose that connects the water to the washing machine has a crack. A nice little crack that water has been spraying out of all day.
Sigh.
I'm tired.
You win.
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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I really hope you know what you're doing. I'm worried to death about that this is going to cause problems with the business and I wish you had told me a head of time.
Me
-------------------- Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. My blog, no guarantees about witty or intelligent content. My current projects. Coveted Beads <---- our eBay store, new items being added somewhat regularly Posts: 8418 | From: Wyoming | Registered: Feb 2002
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I'm glad your Greep is feeling better, and may I say, I love that name for (I assume) a grandfather.
Lainie
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Yep, he's my grandpa. When my brother was a toddler, he couldn't say "Grandpa", it came out as "Greep", so by the time I came into thwe world, he was always refered to as Greep. However, Grandma was still "Grandma", and being the pushy little 5 year old women's libber that I was, I demanded we call her "Greem". Got that bill passed into law fast!
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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WTF? Seriously... what the NFBSK? You never did these things before, so why do them now?
It is weird and the kids think it is weird.
~Love, Me
*No worries, Snopesters, he's just changed some of his routine that has been set for the last 11 years. And we all find it very odd. And, he started watching "Good Morning, America" when he never has before.
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Dear Ex, No, i will not going to your uncles funeral for the following reasons: 1-I never even met the guy and until he became terminally ill a few months ago had never even heard you mention him in 10 years. 2-We are no longer together. It is not my job to support you. Remember the part when you said you considered me to be a good friend and I told you in no uncertain terms that we will never be friends? Maybe if you would stay sober your memory would improve. You didnt even support me when we were together, I'm certainly not going to support you now we're apart. 3-I'm sick of your general self pity. A distant uncles death(note you never managed to see him during his 8 month illness either despite the fact he lived minutes from you)may elicit sympathy from everyone else but not from me. I've seen the maudlin behaviour and excuses to get drunk many times before and refuse to respond to them in any way. 4-Telling your child you won't be in a fit state to look after her is pathetic. She might think it's because you're grieving but we both know you're referring to being drunk.
From the lady who will no longer be attending your pity parties.
Dear Spiders, Take what happened to your friend as a lesson to the rest of you. Abseiling between the bathroom ceiling and my head while I'm sitting on the toilet is a quick way to a painfull death.
From an arachnophobe
-------------------- I tried to get in touch with my inner child, but she isn't allowed to talk to strangers. Posts: 674 | From: Scotland | Registered: May 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Frog_Feathers: And, he started watching "Good Morning, America" when he never has before.
And you don't find that troubling?
Hey...it could be Oprah
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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Michigan Girl
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
Dear ex,
You need to remember that my kids are YOUR kids too. You can't just forget about them and not do for them like you obviously are doing for your current wife and children. I'm sure your mortgage got paid on time, but my rent hasn't yet because you haven't paid child support for 5 weeks. Take care of your children asshat! You didn't even call them for their birthdays, they are always the ones to call you. Do you think promising to come see them and not doing it doesn't effect them? I want to beat the crap out of you for doing that to them. I'm tired of your lies, and they are too. Just remember when they are grown up why they don't have time for you, and don't be surprised.
MichiganGirl
-------------------- ~ Yep, I'm in Michigan ~ My blog http://catsrule2k.blogspot.com/ I am not willing to give up my constitutional freedoms just because I have nothing to hide Posts: 142 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2006
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After working--slaving, really--to get the complete Op Order Annex B (approx 130 exhaustively researched pages) written for you in under a week, believe it or not, I'm NOT upset that you accidentally deleted. Hey, shit happens.
I am, however, upset that you won't cop to it. Sorry, SIR, but you're the last one who had the document open... if it wasn't you, who was it? The SIPR goblins? Granted, forgive my "impudence" at "accusing" you, but considering it's due on Thursday and took approximately 100+ collective man-hours to research and write the first time, at least be a ****ing man and an officer, own up to it, and say "Whoops, my bad."
What was really great was when my systems chief miraculously recovered it from the network ether (no small task, following about two hours of heart-rending panic on my part), he SHOWED that you were the last one to modify the document.
Busted, SIR. Way to own up.
*******************
Cpl Miracle Worker;
The NAM citation will be submitted to the CO by the end of the week. You're my ****ing hero.
-------------------- High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler Posts: 3402 | From: New Bern, NC | Registered: May 2004
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posted
Dear strange_little_girl and Michigan Girl:
So sorry to hear you married my ex's clones. Much sympathy.
Current outstanding child support: $13,190.65, plus $3,507.79 in accumulated interest.
Four Kitties
-------------------- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Posts: 13275 | From: Kindergarten World, Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Frog_Feathers: And, he started watching "Good Morning, America" when he never has before.
And you don't find that troubling?
Hey...it could be Oprah
I find it all very troubling. He used to watch Jerry Springer, but it was for pure entertainment value. Any change in his routine freaks us out a little bit. Ever since he returned from visiting his family, he's been slightly "off" from his usual self. And what's worse, he won't talk about it. I've hinted around, I've blatantly asked, I've even demanded he tell me what is going on. Nothing. Very odd. Every once in a while, he'll go back to his "normal self", but then suddenly, as if he realized it, he'll snap back to the weird version of himself.
And I don't like "Good Morning, America" just in a general way.
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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I have a 60 second snack idea for Rachel (Ray): Xanax, vodka, fall asleep.--Adrianne Frost, Best Week Ever. Posts: 2374 | From: Naw-fik, VA y'all | Registered: Nov 2002
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Ok, you're an otherwise beautiful and cute example of the domesticated feline. But what's with this recent development of meowing all the time and trying to sneak out? Is there a yummy smelly girly cat out there you'd like to take to dinner or something?
Anyway, you have a funny meow but it's getting really old. Just give us a little peace.
Sincerely, One of those big things that feed you.
Dear Katie puppy,
For cripes sake you spoiled diva, I waited outside with you for several minutes and you looked at me as if to say "You can't be serious? Me? Go on the wet slimy grass?" So I brought you back in, tethered you and fed you. I try to take you out again and clearly you've already gone in the middle of the family room. You obviously had to go! Can't you go when we take you out?
Missy, you are not going to like winter. Smarten up!
Sincerely, One of the big things that feed you and take you outside.
Dear Sister who I just got off the phone with,
You...forgot...your glasses? Give me a break!! I am so not making a special trip into town. You'll have to wait until I leave for school and then I'll travel in the opposite direction to your school.
OK, I know you're busy and you've got homework. But so am I. You could've been significantly more helpful during these past couple days when Mom and Dad and K and M were away. You finally did the family room and dinette (when I begged) as well as the bathroom (on your own accord, I'll give you that much). Really, it would've been easier if you did something last night like I asked you.
You so need to get your license too.
Sincerely, Older, more annoyed, sister.
Dear Mom, Dad, M and K,
Please...come home. I miss you all and things are going insane around here. Normally I love it when it's just sister and I, but things are insane right now between pets and younger sibling and school and just starting work.
Sincerely, Manic Soprano
-------------------- Tally ho with a bing and a bong and a buzz buzz buzz! Posts: 234 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2005
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You were so sweet this morning at 2:30 am! You were purring, and I was petting you, and you actually seemed to be enjoying it. Usually being petted seems to annoy you. I don't think it was a dream.
Can you act like that at a reasonable hour? Say, 6:30 am, or 7:30 pm, when DD and I are awake?
love,
Your pillow
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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Whoever heard of a cat with asthma? We're sorry to hear you have this, and we promise to take very good care of you. Though we can't cure the disease we can certainly treat it to the point that you won't even realize you have it. Long may you continue to riot through the house and go howling from room to room in the dead of night with one of your toys in your mouth. And long may you supervise everybody and make sure that the household runs just so.
Here's hoping you take to the medicines we're to pick up for you today. We asked the compounding pharmacy to make them tuna-flavored, which we hope will help. (That they even have that flavorant on hand gives us pause.)
Sincerely, Barbara and snopes
Dear Memphis,
No, you may not scratch the couch. Go beat up on one of your brothers instead.
Yours truly, Barbara
Posts: 2511 | From: Los Angeles, CA | Registered: Feb 2000
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Barbara: Dear Memphis,
No, you may not scratch the couch. Go beat up on one of your brothers instead.
Yours truly, Barbara
Dear Barbara:
Having been a wimp for most of my childhood, may I say I'm glad you're not my mother.
Conversely, the wrestling fan in me wishes that you were my mother.
Canuck
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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My Galaxy kitty has asthma. If you don't already have an air purifier, I suggest picking one up, they help immensely. We also stepped up the amount that we dust and vaccuum around the house, and that also helps.
Dear Doctor -
Please call me today and let me know the MRI results! I need an official report to give to my supervisor!
The patient.
-------------------- Katesune: We still can't find the way to albuquerque, and glisp won't stop to ask for directions. Glisp42: Of course not. I know where I'm going, I just don't know where I am right now
posted
Dear husband's workplace: Get NFBSK'd! If jerks could fly, the place would be a freaking airport. If you think he's going to come in on a day off because of your "dire"-snort!-"need", you're out of your ever-loving mind! You bastards don't pay him enough for that kind of favor! And you, his immediate supervisor: while I realize you have a boss as well, you really have to prove that you're worthy of your hormones and SAY SOMETHING!!! Hubby is not the only one who's being used/abused!
Signed, PO'd wife who hates to see hubby distressed/angry/upset.
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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Well, at least that stupid newspaper article made it very clear that you never loved my sister. So why did you propose to her? Why did you torment her to so much? I am going to hunt down the infatuated child who wrote that article and tell her about the true you - the person who stalked my sister, the person who played cruel mental games, the person who helped her decide to commit suicide.
Maybe, just maybe, that one will decide that you are the scum of the earth and not have anything to do with you. For it was obvious that you were flirting with her. And shame on her for writing the article in such a way that it clearly showed her infatuation for you. I think I'll also mention that she slipped in her professionalism as a journalist...
I hope you die a long, lingering and painful death. I hope that the pain lasts as long as the pain that my family has had to feel.
You bastard - she would not have slipped into that kind of deep depression had you not been playing with her.
LR
Posts: 780 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2003
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I am so very disappointed in you. How could you think that you'd not get caught shoplifting. I know that your mom has told you the stupid things I've done when I was your age, but shoplifting was never one of them.
Yes, the amount is less than $10, but I guess you don't understand that your mother is going to be responsible for paying restitution, and that depending on the state laws, it may be several times the amount of the items stolen. Are you going to pay that? No, you're too young to work. And guess who she's going to be coming to for help in paying for it.
That's right, me. This is why I'm unhappy with you.
-------------------- Tom, we're flying a giant robot into space! "Safe" isn't the first word that springs to mind! - Colleen, Last Hope, Vol.2 Posts: 2710 | From: Meet me in St. Louis | Registered: Mar 2004
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My 13YO DD got into some trouble -- I won't go into details, but it was a property offense, and it was worse than what your niece did. It does indeed suck. Hang in there.
Lainie
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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Can I join the Asthmatic Cat Mom Group? Not that I want to, but perhaps it'll help me keep an eye on my little bugger. Apparently he's had it for some time, but the bronchitis has made it bad enough for it to become a problem. Whoever heard of a cat with bronchitis?
Kat --------------------------- Dear Nestle,
Sick again? So now you have asthma. And bronchitis. On top of the bartonella, chronic cold, stuffy nose, runny eyes, and earwax buildup (which I really wish you'd let me clean out). Seriously, it's a shock that you look and act like the picture of health. How, with all that stuff, can you run around all hours of the night chasing toys and licking my face and tormenting Reggie and generally acting like a kitten instead of a 15 lb. monster? I don't care how you do it... keep it up. I like you happy and as healthy as you can be. I don't even mind the sleeping on my head... though I wish I could teach you to turn your head away from me when you sneeze.
Your loving maid
-------------------- It is, after all, the dab of grit that seeps into an oyster's shell that makes the pearl, not pearl-making seminars with other oysters. -Stephen King Posts: 481 | From: North Brunswick, NJ | Registered: Sep 2005
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I really truly enjoy working with you. You are one of the most remarkable people I have ever met; I am in awe of you. You are a wonderful teacher, officer, nurse, friend. You're intelligence & kindness & humour are a joy to be around on a daily basis.
But please, back off. I know you are a micro-manager to some extent & I have dealt with it for the past 2 years ... really I have learnd to accept that part of you & keep you informed. However, right now, with the crapiness of my life -- personal & professional -- I need some space ... truly I need some space. I am committed to staying here with you until you retire next year (2007) & I will.
Please go back in the OR & let me do my job & take care of you & the students ... I haven't let you or them down & I won't (regardless of my current unhappiness).
thanks so much, your dedicated but unhappy (for a variety of reasons) admin asst
-------------------- 'We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.' -- Edward R. Murrow Posts: 391 | From: the left coast of the USA -- WA | Registered: Oct 2004
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-------------------- Katesune: We still can't find the way to albuquerque, and glisp won't stop to ask for directions. Glisp42: Of course not. I know where I'm going, I just don't know where I am right now
I wear a small size because I am a small person, not because I am a 6 foot tall supermodel. It's very aggravating to try on a pair of jeans and have the bottoms of them end 6 inches after my legs do. At the VERY least, could we mark them "short, regular, and long"?
While we're on the subject, there really has to be a better way to size jeans than just assigning them a totally arbitrary number. I could live with the fact that a size 6 at one store is a size 2 at another, I suppose. But why do you keep marking bigger sizes with smaller numbers? Look, this is getting silly. I realize that, as a society, we hold up an unrealistic expectation of women's bodies. However, I really don't think patronizing women by just changing the numbers is the solution.
The jeans I bought last year fit great. The same jeans I bought this year in the SAME SIZE are too big! I'm not skinnier than I was last year! Not only that, but what are you going to do when you run out of numbers on the low end of the size spectrum? I'm already in what you say is a 2. I was a size 2 when I was a 98 pound severely underweight 17 year old. I'm not one now. What am I going to wear next year? -3?
What, in the name of all that is holy, is wrong with waist measurements?
Yours, Urban "size pi" Renewal.
-------------------- "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse Posts: 396 | From: Pasadena, CA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Thanks for bringing the juice by my office. That was really sweet of you. And my poor beaten up tummy thanks you as well. It was actually very good and is staying down nicely.
I am not used to being that well taken care of at work. I appreciate your concern.
And thanks for holding up the side while I was out.
Best, TGirl
-------------------- There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe Posts: 6995 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Oct 2004
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. When I tell Alyssa that she is NOT going to her friend's house after the way she behaved (threw a tantrum because she had to do homework then lied to me saying it was done when it wasn't and throwing another tantrum for being called on it) you are supposed to back me. Instead you told her that you would "over-rule Mommy" and if she finished her homework, you would let her go ![[flame]](graemlins/flame.gif)
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