posted
I wasn't sure in which forum to put this, as I'm really not angry. This is the most surreal conversation i've ever had in my [u]entire life[/u] and I HAD to share it the second I got home.
This uh, exchange, is with a (male) cow-orker. His bits are bolded, mine are italicised.
I swear to you, this is not a fabrication. A person at work even recorded this with his cell phone (about halfway in), so I'm going to try to extract that sound file from him.
Ready? Prepare yourselves.
(after about 15 minutes of equally mind numbing "conversation)
I'm gonna be president in 2012.
Really? That's interesting. Didn't you fail out of high school?
A high school degree isn't necessary for presidency. George Washington didn't have a high school diploma.
Uhh....(dropping the subject) So, what do you plan on accomplishing as president of one of the most powerful nations in history?
I'm going to unite America. North and South.
...You realize the Civil War is over, right?
I mean I'm going to unite North America and South America. I'm going to make the entire western hemisphere part of the United States.
...Why? They have their own governments. I don't know if you've noticed or not, but us invading and forcing a government on some other country hasn't been working so well. Explain why you think it's necessary to turn every piece of land on this half of the world into part of the "United States of America".
Israel.
Uh, sorry? Israel as a state, or Israel as a people?
Both.
What? What about them? What do you think about that....and what the heck does it have to do with uniting the western hemisphere?
Church and state, Connie. Church and state.
What? Seperation of church and state? What the hell does that have to do with Israel?
It's the Muslims. They're trying to turn us all into Muslims and won't be happy until we are.
Uh....what? Seperation of church and state has nearly nothing to do with Muslims, and Israel as a people are Jewish!
Well they're going through our trash.
I'm sorry?
The government. They go through our trash.
Why? What possible reason do you think the government could have to go through every single person in our country's trash? Wait...are you a conspiracy theorist?
No, I'm not a crazy person. They're looking for bottles of Ibuprofin and Hydrogen Peroxide.
...Why?
To make hydrogen bombs, of course. THE TERRORISTS!
Uh...Even if you COULD make a hydrogen bomb out of hydrogen peroxide, I'm pretty sure you'd need a few more supplies than that.
Well yeah, Sudafed!
Uh...that's for meth labs, not terrorists.
THE TERRORISTS! They make bombs out of shoelaces and bobby pins! They can make bombs out of anything! They're going to blow up everything!
So at this point, I let him know that the only question he's responded to as a statement of his beliefs is the one asking him why the government is going through our trash.
I also tell him that I don't think he has any idea what he's talking about. Even if he did know what he was talking about, he has no idea where he stands on any issue.
I know where I stand. I'm standing here on these bricks.
At this point, I roll my eyes and walk away. A few minutes later, he comes back to me and tells me this:
You think you have the upper hand. My momma raised me right and she raised me to always let women think they have the upper hand in an argument. You women don't know how to properly debate something, so that's why I just left you alone. I have six sisters and I know all about you women. You think you're so smart. You don't know anything about this stuff.
If the fact that I'm a woman is the reason you're acting like an idiot, please envision me as a man. Close your eyes, I'll drop my voice and we can have a real discussion, man to man.
It isn't proper. You don't know how to debate. I know where you stand. You stand on these bricks! THERE WILL BE WORLD PEACE!
Uh, okay...I'll play. There will never be world peace.
The bible says so.
Okay, according to the Bible, there will be 1000 years of peace. According to the Bible. You can't prove something based on something like that.
So I bet you think you're going to bring peace to the middle east.
There will never be peace in the middle east.
Finally something we agree on!
WHAT?!?!?
I think there can be world peace.
You realize that the Middle East is part of the world, right?
It'll take time.
How. Tell me how you think we will achieve world peace. How will that work?
It'll take a lot of time.
I realize that. You haven't answered any of my questions. Oh, and you've failed to mention how ANY of these issues connect to each other in any way.
You women are too simple-minded.
At that point, my manager (a woman) asked him to go home...now.
-------------------- "I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail Posts: 1361 | From: Muncie, IN | Registered: Sep 2005
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The only thing I got out of that was that the guy doesn't think too highly of women.
ETC grammar
-------------------- Okay, just to make it clear, there is a real world out there. No really, there is. I checked. Posts: 886 | From: Suffolk, VA | Registered: Mar 2005
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-------------------- "There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein Posts: 1058 | From: Yakima, WA | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
I always knew that having a penis didn't necessarily make me a man - cause I'm a man, and I sure don't get what he's saying well enough to debate it properly. Guess that makes me a woman after all.
me (does this mean I can have boobies) no really
-------------------- Check out my handmade pens Check back often because the page changes often Posts: 831 | From: Brisbane, Australia | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
As to which forum to post this in, I know it wasn't actually emailed to snopes, but it sure belongs in We've Got Mail.
me
-------------------- Check out my handmade pens Check back often because the page changes often Posts: 831 | From: Brisbane, Australia | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
He must have had some special brownies this morning. How did you get through it with a sraight face? And kudos to the boss for sending him home, I can't wait to hear what he has to say about that.
-------------------- God bless our Troops! If you can't stand behind our troops, please, feel free to stand in front of them. Posts: 380 | From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
Oh, believe me...none of this was done with a straight face (eta: on my half anyway. He was completely serious the whole time).
-------------------- "I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail Posts: 1361 | From: Muncie, IN | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
I've eaten enough special brownies in one sitting to paralyze an elk, and I was far more coherent than this guy.
-------------------- "If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf Posts: 977 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Sounds like he forgot his meds that morning. I'd just laugh it off as being another nut job were I you.
-------------------- "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die." Posts: 2776 | From: LSA Anaconda, Iraq | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
That's beyond "offensive" and well into wacko country.
quote:I've eaten enough special brownies in one sitting to paralyze an elk
Funniest thing I've read all day, btw
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Why should you be offended, MapleLeaf? In 2012, you'll finally get that chance to become a part of the fabulous U.S of A!
*giggle*
-------------------- "I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail Posts: 1361 | From: Muncie, IN | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by black roses 19: Why should you be offended, MapleLeaf? In 2012, you'll finally get that chance to become a part of the fabulous U.S of A!
*giggle*
What, to commemorate 200 years since you guys last tried it...and failed, might I add.
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by black roses 19: His bits are bolded[...]
Sounds painful.
-------------------- seriously , everyone on here , just trys to give someone crap about something they do !! , its shitting me to tears. Posts: 16061 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2000
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quote:The only semi-logical thing I could gather from that conversation was he must think the terrorists watch "MacGyver".....
Well it would be an appropriate punishment for them...
quote:What, to commemorate 200 years since you guys last tried it...and failed, might I add. [Wink]
Yea but now we'll have this fine upstanding leader at the helm, I mean he'll have you beaten by sheer logic alone, probably wont even have to raise up and fire one shot... Which is good cause the way things are going by 2012 we'll have about thirteen or fourteen non-committed soldiers in the US eligible for deployment.
-------------------- "All people are responsible for the good that they didn't do" Posts: 4774 | From: Virginia | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by black roses 19: Why should you be offended, MapleLeaf? In 2012, you'll finally get that chance to become a part of the fabulous U.S of A!
*giggle*
What, to commemorate 200 years since you guys last tried it...and failed, might I add.
By then the White House will need renovating anyway.
-------------------- IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
Clearly, he won't win the vote in 2012.
I mean, women are allowed to vote, and their little logic-impaired minds would never vote for someone like him. His words would sail right over their pretty little heads.
Or something like that.
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
No, that's okay, Canuckistan. He knows how to let women think they have the upper hand. That way, they'll vote for him thinking they're winning.
Posts: 539 | From: Nova Scotia | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Ah! Canuck, thank you for reminding me! I can't BELIEVE I left this part out!
Right after he told me he was going to be president and before I asked him what he would do as president, I asked him what party line he would be nominated through. He told me that he doesn't believe in party lines - at all. So I asked him if he just voted for whomever fit best with his politics rather than party lines (which I believe is a lot better than voting strictly R. or strictly D. which is popular around here).
He told me that doesn't follow elections. Oh, and he doesn't vote - never has - not once. He doesn't believe in voting. He doesn't believe you should have to be "voted" into something, he thinks you should rise there because of your upstanding character and morality. I'm not sure WHY he believes voting "just isn't right", but it's irrelevant . He doesn't know either.
Oh, and he got very angry when I asked him when he planned to begin the uprising of his dictatorship.
-------------------- "I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail Posts: 1361 | From: Muncie, IN | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
He must buy economy-size boxes of tin foil.
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
black roses, is there any chance you can get him to agree to a videotaped interview that you could...say...post on YouTube? I never have anything to do at 2 in the morning anymore.
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by black roses 19: He doesn't believe you should have to be "voted" into something, he thinks you should rise there because of your upstanding character and morality.
I've heard many theories of political power from divinly chosen rulers to rule by force to mandate of the people. I've heard the political process refered to by many anologies.
This is the first time I've heard of political power by butter churn.
-------------------- IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005
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That's beyond "offensive" and well into wacko country. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
