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In the centuries before party invitations were pinged across cyberspace, invitees did not feel compelled to explain in depth how a soiree conflicted with their Lamaze class, spa weekend or Ironman competition. Regrets were nonspecific platitudes. And the only people who heard them were the hosts.
posted
I've always been leery of E-vites for this exact reason. Any time that I can't make it somewhere, I feel compelled to announce what's so important that I can't make it. Then I feel bad because I'm basically saying that X is more important to me than Y for suchandsuch reason.
Posts: 345 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Jul 2006
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Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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I just click No or whatever and then click submit. I don't feel compelled to say anything. If anything I might send a private email to the host to privately tell them my reason, but I rarely even do that.
-------------------- I think that hyperbole is the single greatest factor contributing to the decline of society. - My friend Pat.
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There has always been pressure to give an explanation when one cannot attend a function. Rare is the occasion where I have RSVP'ed "no" to a traditionally sent invitation and not been asked why I could not attend. Sometimes the host even tries to talk me into attending anyway. Often other friends ask if I'm going, and then the explanations start again.
There is nothing new under the sun.
-------------------- This used to be the life, but I don't need another one. MyBandwagon Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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Haven't those people writing the 20-minute explanatory responses ever heard of the gift of dishonesty? "I'm busy." Or, better yet, "No comment," or "N/A" in the 'reason for decline' field. Why do we have to tell everyone everything?
-------------------- HA! That's so funny I forgot to laugh...excluding that first Ha. -Stewie Griffin Posts: 112 | From: Albuquerque, NM | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Because it's against what society's taught us. Lying is wrong. So, we tell the truth. In as much detail as we can.
Morrigan
-------------------- "The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Robert Frost, Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening Posts: 1701 | From: Michigan | Registered: Mar 2001
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posted
You could just say "I have other plans." Maybe the other plans are to write a letter and to go to bed early, but they are still other plans. No lying there.
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I'm with Rhi. I respond "no" if I have a conflict or I just don't want to go. When asked why, I just say "Because I can't." I don't elaborate, nor do I feel compelled to. When people ask "What are you doing next Saturday?", instead of saying what I am doing or that I have no plans, I ask, "Why do you ask?". I don't allow others to direct my schedule, thankyouverymuch.
-------------------- "The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)
"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus) Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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Was there a time when washing one's hair was a more elaborate event so that this might be more logical? Or was it always intended as an extremely rude slight, because clearly one can either put off the hair washing or do it beforehand in the vast majority of cases. Can washing one's hair take all night? And if it is so time consuming in our busy lives, why are we not all walking around with really dirty hair?
Meanwhile, I LOVED the link! So funny!
Avril
-------------------- There is no failure unless one stops. --Ray Bradbury Posts: 2115 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Avril: Was there a time when washing one's hair was a more elaborate event so that this might be more logical?
I believe the phrase is from a time before blow dryers when washing one's hair meant putting it up in rollers for the night. However, as an excuse I believe it was meant to be dismissive even if it was accurate.
-------------------- "You're the opposite of troll. It's a compliment!" Posts: 12086 | From: Alberta | Registered: Feb 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Avril: Was there a time when washing one's hair was a more elaborate event so that this might be more logical?
I believe the phrase is from a time before blow dryers when washing one's hair meant putting it up in rollers for the night. However, as an excuse I believe it was meant to be dismissive even if it was accurate.
Also when the vast majority of women had very long hair, and often no indoor plumbing, washing hair really was a time consuming effort that was usually done once a week. I agree with you Jenn that as an excuse it was probably dismissive, but washing your hair wasn't easily put off to another day.
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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