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Author Topic: New and Improved "Commercials You Hate"
mgbdriver
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by MaxKaladin:
3. I hate the commercial for Vonage (I think) where the woman is explaining how easy it was to install her Vonage service. Then she notices her husband dancing in a goofy way through the doorway at the back of the room and she just stands there looking mortified.

I actually found that one humorous, as well as the other Vonage commercial where, in the background, a person in a lobster suit is trying to navigate a revolving door.

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I like those as well, mgbdriver. I hate the Vonage woo woo song though.

I recently saw a Gatorade commercial that had children playing sports with the gigantic heads of professional athletes inplace of their own heads. It was creepy.

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MaxKaladin
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by mgbdriver:
quote:
Originally posted by MaxKaladin:
3. I hate the commercial for Vonage (I think) where the woman is explaining how easy it was to install her Vonage service. Then she notices her husband dancing in a goofy way through the doorway at the back of the room and she just stands there looking mortified.

I actually found that one humorous, as well as the other Vonage commercial where, in the background, a person in a lobster suit is trying to navigate a revolving door.
I don't have a problem with the lobster suit one. I just don't like the dancing one because it seems to be playing on that 'guys are so goofy' stereotype.
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Algae
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I hate the Volkswagon Passat ad where the woman and man are stopped at a red light and she honk at the man in front of them. When the big, scary looking man gets out of the car, he passes by their car to confront the SUV driver behind them. The tag is something like "Low Ego Emissions."

So, driving that car gives you permission to be a jerk? Wow. Great. Just what I wanted to be told. Now I know the people driving those cars are the ones likely to be cutting me off on the freeway.

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Christie
The Bills of St. Mary's


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quote:
Originally posted by MaxKaladin:
quote:
Originally posted by mgbdriver:
quote:
Originally posted by MaxKaladin:
3. I hate the commercial for Vonage (I think) where the woman is explaining how easy it was to install her Vonage service. Then she notices her husband dancing in a goofy way through the doorway at the back of the room and she just stands there looking mortified.

I actually found that one humorous, as well as the other Vonage commercial where, in the background, a person in a lobster suit is trying to navigate a revolving door.
I don't have a problem with the lobster suit one. I just don't like the dancing one because it seems to be playing on that 'guys are so goofy' stereotype.
I don't see that as playing to a stereotype. Haven't we all done "goofy" things that we wouldn't want others to see us doing? Or, at least, that our SO wouldn't want others to see us doing? That's where the humour comes in, at least for me anyhow.

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Phil'sGirl
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Name That Tabby:
quote:
Originally posted by Phil'sGirl, saying the secret woid:
Oh, and can someone explain why The King is mega creepy, but Jack is not?

Corpse Valley. The King looks human enough that everythign about his face that isn't human is horrifying, while Jack is obviously non-human and therefore less disturbing.

Also, Jack doesn't accost people in their homes and stare at them silently until they take food from him.

-Tabby
the princess with claws

Thanks.

Also, even if Jack isn't human, he tries to be. He has a family, and a sense of humor.

Plus, facial expressions are important. The King reminds me of a dog a neighbor used to have. It would walk along the fence staring at people, and you could never tell if it was just going to try to bite you, or had really bad sight.

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MaxKaladin
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Christie:
quote:
Originally posted by MaxKaladin:
quote:
Originally posted by mgbdriver:
quote:
Originally posted by MaxKaladin:
3. I hate the commercial for Vonage (I think) where the woman is explaining how easy it was to install her Vonage service. Then she notices her husband dancing in a goofy way through the doorway at the back of the room and she just stands there looking mortified.

I actually found that one humorous, as well as the other Vonage commercial where, in the background, a person in a lobster suit is trying to navigate a revolving door.
I don't have a problem with the lobster suit one. I just don't like the dancing one because it seems to be playing on that 'guys are so goofy' stereotype.
I don't see that as playing to a stereotype. Haven't we all done "goofy" things that we wouldn't want others to see us doing? Or, at least, that our SO wouldn't want others to see us doing? That's where the humour comes in, at least for me anyhow.
We all do goofy things. The 'playing to the stereotype' comes from the guy evidently not having either the sense or the self-restraint to do this at some other place and time than when his wife is filming a testimonial. At least that's how I see it.
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Amigone201
Happy Holly Days


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You guys mostly won't recognize him, but let me get a "booyah" from all the New York and Pennsylvania people. Who hates Billy Fucillo? Oh, me, I do. And I'm betting anyone who's seen one of his commercials does too.

They're local car dealership spots (ick already!), where Billy's sidekick Tom Parker tries to explain how great their cars are. Only Tom never gets more than two words out before Billy, a big, loud, Mafioso in a bowling shirt, interrupts him to tell the audience what a great deal he's prepared to make. If Tom tries to talk again, Billy interrupts him again and talks about the greatness of his deals.

Every commercial ends with Tom and Billy declaring in a deep, gravelly voice that it's "HUUUUUGE!" Gag me.

And, has anybody else seen the credit score commercials that begin, "I'm thinking of a number between 600 and 800. Can you guess what it is?"

I always want to respond:

"Your weight?"
"Your cholesterol?"
"Your B.A.C.?"
"The number of women your wife doesn't know about?"
"On a scale of 1-100, how much I hate you?"

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Green Eggs and Spam
Deck the Malls


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I just saw an annoying commercial that I hadn't seen in a long time ... the Hallmark/Shoebox commercial with all the ladies sitting around laughing loudly and stupidly ("the side splitter," "the snake," etc.) while they pass a card around. Spare me!

I hate the ones with the "doctors" saying things that doctors aren't really ever going to say: "Talk to me!" Especially bad are the ones with the residents following a doctor around while he asks them questions and of course they end up talking in detail about a particular prescription medication and its side effects. Soooo realistic.

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Megan'sMom
Deck the Malls


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The Suave commercial with the invisible mom, any commercial for feminine hygiene products or menstrual pain relievers where girls or ladies show suprise that someone is doing *something* (going to the beach, working out, etc.) while she has her period, the new BK ***king chicken commercial with the motorcross bikes "You go big! You are spicy!", I could go on for days!!!

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but do it in private, and wash your hands afterwards.

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Morgaine La Raq Star
The "Was on Sale" Song


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I'm assuming this is local, or at least limited to the state of TX but I loathe, loathe, loathe, the texaslending.com commercials. I want to pound their stupid spokesguys head into the wall while yelling 'Got it! Got it! Got it!' (the commercials 'catch phrase').
I don't see commercials that often (thank you TiVo!!) but most of the ones I see seem to be pretty good.

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gift-wrapped smittykins
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Amigone201:
You guys mostly won't recognize him, but let me get a "booyah" from all the New York and Pennsylvania people. Who hates Billy Fucillo? Oh, me, I do. And I'm betting anyone who's seen one of his commercials does too.

They're local car dealership spots (ick already!), where Billy's sidekick Tom Parker tries to explain how great their cars are. Only Tom never gets more than two words out before Billy, a big, loud, Mafioso in a bowling shirt, interrupts him to tell the audience what a great deal he's prepared to make. If Tom tries to talk again, Billy interrupts him again and talks about the greatness of his deals.

Every commercial ends with Tom and Billy declaring in a deep, gravelly voice that it's "HUUUUUGE!" Gag me.

BOOYAH! It's gotten worse since he took over the Ford dealership in my town a few years back. It makes me want to BAN the use of the H word. I don't even use it in regular conversation anymore--that's how much I hate it.

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MaxKaladin
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Green Eggs and Spam:
I hate the ones with the "doctors" saying things that doctors aren't really ever going to say:

I got this far into this paragraph and started thinking "the one I really hate is the one with the doctor being followed around by residents talking about a specific prescription..." [lol]
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rockland6674
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I absolutely detest the series of commercials for Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch cereal featuring Johnson, an office drone who never hears a word his superiors say, because the crunch of his Raisin Bran Crunch cereal drowns out their every word. Actually, "crunch" isn't an adequate description, because it sounds like Johnson is chewing on gravel. Johnson is blissfully unaware that he's been fired, retained and even named Employee of the Month, as he happily crunches away.

How does Johnson ever get any work done, since he seems to spend every minute on the job eating his precious cereal? Didn't his parents ever teach him manners, for cryin' out loud? Put down your spoon and listen when people are talking to you! You look like a NFBSKing cow, chewing its cud! God, I wish Smith, his long-suffering supervisor, would just hold up a sign that says "YOU'RE FIRED, DICKHEAD!!!"

Another Kellogg's commercial I can't stand is the one for Frosted Mini Wheats, in which a girl in a spelling bee is trying to spell "aardvark". She stumbles over the spelling, then notices one of the Frosted Mini Wheats she ate for breakfast that morning, perched on the microphone in front of her. With its coaching, she spells "aardvark" correctly.

Um, excuse me? If your Frosted Mini Wheats start talking to you, I think you have more immediate concerns than spelling "aardvark" correctly.

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IlGreven, Swan a-Swimmin'
Grandma Got Run Over by a Rain Check


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Three for me:

1. Zantrex 3! Zantrex 3! Everybody loves Zantrex 3! It's the only diet pill with a kick! No WONDER everybody loves Zantrex 3! Zantrex 3! Zantrex 3! YES!

Uhm, NO!

2. Kidz Bop.

The commercials further illustrate why that CD series is EVIL! I haven't checked out the latest, but I'm sure it has such family-friendly tracks as "My Humps" and "I'm in Love Wit a Stripper"...

3. The new Sprite commercials where the guy's eye turns into a mouth...

Eww, creepy...

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lioness
Deck the Malls


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I HATE "Bob!"

That Pile of Crap from KFC

Those Mucinex commercials, they also make me lose my appetite.

1-100 Dentist, especially the one where this Bridezilla calls because her mom is too embarassed to get excited about her wedding.

I also hate that Raisin Bran Crunch cereal with that office drone who ignores his superiors, yet gets Employee of the Month while sitting on his butt eating cereal all day instead of working.

That mattress store commercial, "You're killing me Laaary!" "...or your mattress is freeeeeeeee!

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Darth Credence
Deck the Malls


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I just heard this one on the radio, and is a new level of hate for me.
Starts with an announcer saying something like:
Welcome to Metropolis Metroplex. Our feature film is about to begin.
(At this point, I'm thinking Superman commercial, so I listen.)
It continues:
At this time, please turn off your cellphones, unless you have a new exclusive ringtone from Pepsi. Those ringtones are so cool, we'd rather listen to them than the explosions and lame dialogue that are coming up in the movie.

Are you kidding me? You are actually saying in a commercial to not turn off cell phones at a movie! I will never purchase a Pepsi product again, based on that commercial.

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Macheath
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I keep forgetting about the advertisements for a subscription to joke text messages sent to your cell phone an' stuff like that. All of those annoy me, but the joke ones in particular are awful. If you haven't seen/heard this, imagine really terrible animation accompanied by the most annoyingly happy male voice over ever saying things like, "Let our joke of the day be your JOY of the day!" and "We'll make your sense of humor EVEN BETTER!"

That commercial manages to sap all the humor right out of me. Guess I'd better subscribe.

Mack da Knife

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Max_Renn
Jingle Bell Hock


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"Lost another loan to Ditech.com!" Which is actually a pretty tolerable concept but the shameless mugging, mincing and overacting by the lead actor (I'm sure he's a nice guy, and actors gotta eat, but still...) make my skin crawl.

I don't see as many terrible local ads here in Toronto as I did growing up in Ottawa because Toronto has a huge TV and advertising production infrastructure and can give local advertisers quality production value. With, I'll admit, the huge exception of that "SELL ME YOUR JEWELLERY! I'VE GOT SO MUCH MONEY I'M GIVING IT AWAY! COME GET MY MONEY!" pawn shop guy.

In Ottawa, local ads in my TV watching experience had a certain "one notch above home movie" aesthetic to them. One that sticks in my mind (and craw) was for a restaurant called, I believe, The Shallows. This was a bland, predominantly beige family restaurant which was, judging from the ad, only patronized by obese, splotchy-faced, polyester pantsuit-wearing civil servants who liked to shovel greasy pork products down their gullets under the blazing glare of badly-balanced interior lighting.

Fine, I'm a snob...

Max "a place to grow" Renn

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Crow T. Robot: Look, I'm already driving, there's no inherent quantity of driving that I can increase! If you want me to go faster, you should say so.

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Max_Renn
Jingle Bell Hock


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Those Mazda "zoom zoom" commercials don't bother me, though they seem to annoy everyone I know. What I found so weird about them was, not long after they hit the airwaves I started playing capoeira, and "Zoom Zoom Zoom" is one of the songs we'd sing in the roda. So I can't see those ads without thinking how odd it is that they have a great remix of a Brazilian martial arts chant selling Japanese cars.

Max "what, was the licensing fee for 'Paranaue' too high?" Renn

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Sister Ann: DRIVE! DRIVE
Crow T. Robot: Look, I'm already driving, there's no inherent quantity of driving that I can increase! If you want me to go faster, you should say so.

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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The only thing I hate about the "zoom zoom" commercials is when the kid says it. C'mon, at least use someone old enough to drive.

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Elsie:
I get the point of the ad. What baffles me is the ending shot of two people, each in their own individual tub that are inexplicably located outdoors on the top of a hill. I get that they have time to sit back, relax, and watch the sunset before they have to get around to business, but seriously, where do you find bathtubs outside on the top of a hill???

I admit I've never seen one in real life, but I believe many spas or hot springs type places have setups like that. Presumably the couple in that ad is on vacation at some out of the way spa in the southwest.

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Brad from Georgia
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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There's a local commercial for a plumbing outfit that stars one of my former students. It deals with a clogged toilet--and the camera is placed inside the clogged toilet, looking up at the poor guy's face as he deals with the problem.

Even though it's one of my students, and even though he is enough of a successful actor to land a role in a TV commercial, still...to make your TV acting debut framed in crap....ugh.

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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This is how much of your post showed up in Active Topics: "There's a local commercial for a plumbing outfit that stars one of my former students. It deals with a clogged toilet--and the camera is placed inside the clogged toilet, looking up at the poor guy's ..."

I was actually relieved that the next word was "face."

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"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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ChelleGame
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Here's what interests me about the KFC bowl commercial. I swear that the brunette woman delivers it like she's mockin' the guy...like she's just making stuff up, and he likes it because he's a dork.(Idiot, want me to sprinkle it with 3 cheeses and a cherry on top?! Maybe a little Fairy Dust?) I know that's not intended, but the actress just seems a little sarcastic.

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Ovaltine ads. I wish someone would tell them that their ads suck rotten eggs.

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Amigone201
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by ChelleGame:
Here's what interests me about the KFC bowl commercial. I swear that the brunette woman delivers it like she's mockin' the guy...like she's just making stuff up, and he likes it because he's a dork.(Idiot, want me to sprinkle it with 3 cheeses and a cherry on top?! Maybe a little Fairy Dust?) I know that's not intended, but the actress just seems a little sarcastic.

Maybe she is! I was thinking that she was just a little scared/surprised at his ridiculousness, but yeah, she could be mocking him. I mean, could you deliver those lines with a straight face?

Oh yes, and I'll add my vote for the Sprite commercials. SubLIMONal advertising." Yeah. Right. It's just your excuse to throw weird crap in a commercial and I want it off my TV. I hate pretentiousness, but pseudo-pretentiousness is really no better.

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by DawnStorm:
Ovaltine ads. I wish someone would tell them that their ads suck rotten eggs.

Because kids send off for their Little Orphan Annie decoder rings only to discover that the secret message is really just an ad for Ovaltine? [Big Grin]

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"Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny

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Hazed
We Three Blings


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The newest one I hate is the Skittles commercial with the guy with the really long beard having an interview, and the beard is feeding him skittles....eww!!
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Brad from Georgia
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Legends of the Hidden Jay Temple:
This is how much of your post showed up in Active Topics: "There's a local commercial for a plumbing outfit that stars one of my former students. It deals with a clogged toilet--and the camera is placed inside the clogged toilet, looking up at the poor guy's ..."

I was actually relieved that the next word was "face."

I won't tell you how many times I edited it to get that effect....

--------------------
"No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly
Hear what you're missing: ARTC podcasts! http://artcpodcast.org/

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Egg Note
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I don't know what the commercial is for but basically it has some people saying ORF a lot and it's in a really irritating tone, especially at the end when the announcer says "something-something takeORF." Yeesh.

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Okay, just to make it clear, there is a real world out there. No really, there is. I checked.

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glisp42
I'm Dreaming Of A White iPod


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William Shatner advertising for a ambulance chasing lawyers office. Dear god no. The world must end now.

The KFC bowl o crap. The first time I saw it, I said, "This has to be a joke right? please?"

The Ditech one is seconded.

A local car dealership has the exciting superhero of Fordman. It's as bad as you think it is.

Oohh, just thought of another one. It's glurge in radio form for Bluebell Ice Cream. It's done in a country style but I can only remeber the last verse.

"Mama hollerin through the screen door
would you kids like some homemade ice cream
That was such a simpler time and place
Bluebell tastes just like the good ol days"

In the words of the great Alfred E. Neuman, "Yeeecccchhh"

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What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK" and other lingo mean?

And we'll collect the moments one by one I guess that's how the future's done. -Feist

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jmcomeau
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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There's one playing on the radio station we play at work, for a local credit company (I think).

It's a radio commercial, but due to clever sterotyping, I'm fairly certain I can tell you the races and immigration status of just about every character on there.

Another problem I have with it isthe guy with the new car is assumed to have stolen it because he couldn't possibly afford it.

Sarcasm=Sure, get your credit through us, get pulled over for stealing the car because there's no way a loser like you can afford it! /Sarcasm

JMC

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Is it always this cold? Hell is so much warmer.

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Max_Renn
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by jmcomeau:
There's one playing on the radio station we play at work, for a local credit company (I think).

It's a radio commercial, but due to clever sterotyping, I'm fairly certain I can tell you the races and immigration status of just about every character on there.

Another problem I have with it isthe guy with the new car is assumed to have stolen it because he couldn't possibly afford it.

Sarcasm=Sure, get your credit through us, get pulled over for stealing the car because there's no way a loser like you can afford it! /Sarcasm

JMC

That reminds me of a TV ad I saw back in 1997 in Los Angeles, for some long distance company (or maybe one of those 10-10 plans). Young African-American guy addresses the camera while standing in front of a phone booth: "Yo, I gotta give a shout-out to my cousin Tre, right now!" The voice-over tells him about his dialing options, while somebody in a sports car pulls up to the phone booth and gets out to use the phone. Our lead character gestures frantically outside the booth trying to commandeer the phone for a minute then hops in the guy's car and drives off. To call Tre, I guess.

So how many racial clichés could they wedge into one commercial? The "Yo" and "shout-out" lingo; the stereotypical Black name "Tre"; the jiving hand gestures and to top it off, he steals a guy's car to finish the ad. Amazing.

Max "lotta race-related threads today, it seems" Renn

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Sister Ann: DRIVE! DRIVE
Crow T. Robot: Look, I'm already driving, there's no inherent quantity of driving that I can increase! If you want me to go faster, you should say so.

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24K_ Kate
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by ChelleGame:
Here's what interests me about the KFC bowl commercial. I swear that the brunette woman delivers it like she's mockin' the guy...like she's just making stuff up, and he likes it because he's a dork.(Idiot, want me to sprinkle it with 3 cheeses and a cherry on top?! Maybe a little Fairy Dust?) I know that's not intended, but the actress just seems a little sarcastic.

I think the expression on her face is maniacal...like she's about to sink an ax into his head and go postal on the rest of the customers in the store.

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<---Callisto

I have a 60 second snack idea for Rachel (Ray): Xanax, vodka, fall asleep.--Adrianne Frost, Best Week Ever.

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