posted
I'm so sorry Miguel. I hope there are other family members nearby who can help you through this. My thoughts are with you.
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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Canuck, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope there are people around you who can comfort your during this time.
-------------------- I cannot live without books-Thomas Jefferson *~* A child educated only at school is an uneducated child - George Santayana I'm going to pummel you with such zeal, Buddha will explode! *~* Never miss a good chance to shut up - Will Rogers Posts: 6585 | From: Dallas/Fort Worth, TX | Registered: Feb 2002
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I am so very sorry to hear that. My sympathy and thoughts for your family.
-------------------- So many books, so little time. Posts: 1192 | From: McDonough, Georgia | Registered: Nov 2005
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Scari at haunted home: She must have been a great mom, she raised you.
She was always proudest of her children. Having grown up in fascist Spain, she never really had opportunities to learn. She made sure her children did.
And the four of us went on to be a physicist, a doctor, a librarian and an editor.
And this, while she was a single parent, living in public housing. She made sure we made the most of our lives.
If there was one thing I was certain of, it's that she viewed us as her greatest accomplishment.
And now, I'm all alone.
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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I am so, so very sorry. If there's anything I can do, PM me.
Hugs,
Loy
-------------------- Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee. Posts: 1170 | From: Iowa | Registered: Aug 2004
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Lordy, Canuck, I feel for ya', too. You got a friend in me, should you need one.
-------------------- The salty fragrance of L’EauD’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles. Posts: 1983 | From: Chicagoland, IL | Registered: Feb 2005
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I'm so sorry. Lots of love and hugs to you and your siblings.
-------------------- Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught. My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking. Countdown: 177 days (or less!) Posts: 4926 | From: NW Ohio | Registered: Apr 2003
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Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I know you're in pain. Big hugs and loads of love to you, Miguel.
Roadie
-------------------- "The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)
"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus) Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I'm so very sorry, Canuck. You're in my thoughts. ((hugs))
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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My arms strain to reach eastward to you from south of Windsor. Huge (((hugs))) from this snopester.
Can you feel the world wide hug? Your friends here are with you and are here for you.
May you find warmth and peace in your memories of your mom and your times together.
All the best. Feel free to PM me as I went through a similar loss with my brother. The pain does not go away, but it does eventually get softer with time, friends and memories.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person. The world will feel the loss of a person with that kind of goodness in her heart.
Hugs and vibes to you. If you need anything, we're here.
posted
Vibes and hugs coming your way via your PM box.
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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Oh honey. *big HUGE hugs* I am so very sorry for your loss. I know there's nothing I can do but send you hugs and caring vibes. If I'm ever in the Toronto area you can bet I'll find you and give you those hugs for real.
posted
Oh hon, I'm so very sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful woman.
Gibbie
-------------------- If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. Posts: 3993 | From: Indiana | Registered: Feb 2000
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I know how proud you are of your Mommy because we've "talked" about her in a thread here on snopes. I can't think of anything to say, except I wish I could help you. So very, very sorry. Much love, honey.
SDD
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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-------------------- "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse Posts: 396 | From: Pasadena, CA | Registered: Jan 2006
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*hugs* I know how much it hurts, believe me. You can get through it, though. Keep us in your thoughts over the next few days, hoping that'll help.
-------------------- -,-'-,-<<0
This space for rent Posts: 275 | From: Maryland | Registered: Jan 2006
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Make sure you give yourself the time to handle it. Get some pills to help you sleep (don't underestimate sleep in a situation like this!). Let some of the "have to" that is not really necessary slide. Seek support from friends when you need it, but don't be afraid to tell them if you need to be alone.
Even if it feels all black now, there will be times when things feel almost normal. Don't feel guilty for those times, it's normal and a result of the body not being able to handle it for too long. These times will come more and more often and last longer and longer, and the dives will no longer be so deep. After a while, life will be some kind of normal again, and you will only occasionally feel the full force of the loss.
Make a conscious effort to focus on the good times. When your thoughts go to the bad times, force yourself to think about the good times. This way, you don't fortify the bad memories. When I think back to my father's last time, even though I on an intellectual level know that he looked like a skeleton, my memory image is still the strong man who flew and ambulance helicopter and worked in his workshop. Such memories are much easier to carry.
Make your own rituals. My father was a pilot (although liked to tinker with various construction projects), although he lost his license when he got diagnosed with cancer. I planned to buy a couple of radio controlled aircraft to build and fly together. However, his disease took a turn for the worse, so there was never time for that, but I made it a point to finish an aircraft anyway, as it was important to me. It would probably not make sense to anyone else, byt it worked for me. Find what works for you.
One last thing. When people say "I know how it feels", you probably just want to scream "You know nothing about how I feel!" and punch them, but even if it's a clumsy thing to say, remember that most people have gone through experiences like this. Sure, they don't know youre pain, but they have felt loss in their own way. The important thing is that they got through it, and so can you. Even if it feels like everything is going south now, it will pass eventually, and in some way you will get through it. Just take one day at the time until you feel that your life is under control again. Don't be afraid to listen to advice, it's easy to get caught up in your own pain and fail to see the big picture, and sometimes an external view can give the needed stability.
Feel free to PM me, I've recently gone through a similar experience, so perhaps I can be of assistance.
-------------------- /Troberg Posts: 4360 | From: Borlänge, Sweden | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Miguel, I'm so sorry. It sounds like she was a wonderful, strong lady and I know she did a great job raising her kids.
You're going to have a lot to deal with in the next few weeks. I hope your siblings can all be there so you can all help each other through it. Be sure to take some time for yourself each day just to decompress a little so you don't get burnt out.
Be well, friend. If I can do anything my inbox is open.
-------------------- "You're the opposite of troll. It's a compliment!" Posts: 12086 | From: Alberta | Registered: Feb 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Scari at haunted home: She must have been a great mom, she raised you.
She was always proudest of her children. Having grown up in fascist Spain, she never really had opportunities to learn. She made sure her children did.
And the four of us went on to be a physicist, a doctor, a librarian and an editor.
And this, while she was a single parent, living in public housing. She made sure we made the most of our lives.
If there was one thing I was certain of, it's that she viewed us as her greatest accomplishment.
Quite an accomplishment it was. She had reason to be very proud, and you have reason to be very proud of her.
quote:And now, I'm all alone.
It feels that way sometimes, I know. We're all thinking of you. Hang in there, sweetie.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
I'm so sorry to hear that. You're said some things about her on the board in general that made me think she must have been a pretty terrific person. You sound as if you were very proud of her, and vice versa. Hugs and vibes.
-------------------- ~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~ Posts: 10111 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Sep 2004
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Miguel, I'm so sorry for your loss, Your Mom sounds like a great woman. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
Doug
-------------------- You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles Posts: 1074 | From: High Level, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Mar 2006
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