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Author Topic: Sean Connery and Petula Clark
snopes
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Comment: I've now heard this story from a few different sources, so it
seems likely to be an Urban Legend. I saw this version on a blog:

Friend of a friend of a friend was somehow at a dinner with Sean Connery
and his cronies at Gleneagles last weekend. Everyone was getting nicely
pickled and chatting about cinematic anecdotes - then someone asks: "what
we really want to know, Sean, is who was the best shag you ever had?" He
grins, and says: "too many journalists and gobshites here, boys." Fair
enough. Everyone gets far more pissed, and just before the revels end,
said friend of a friend of a friend gets tapped on shoulder. It is a very
pissed Connery, who simply says: "Petula Clark. 1963. Up the arse." And
walks away to his waiting car.

I actually heard it that Sean Connery was at the bar waiting for a table
at a restaurant, the FOAF walked over and shared a few scotches with Sean
Connery, and conversed with him for a while. As Sean was about to leave
for his table the FOAF asked him "who was your best shag" and Connery gave
a look of disgust and walked over to his table. As luck would have it, the
FOAF was seated at a table next to Connery, who continued to scowl and
glare at the FOAF throughout the meal. Finally, at the end of his meal,
Connery taps the FOAF on the shoulder and whispers to him, "Petula Clark,
up the ass, 1967".

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Wicked Tinkerbell
Hock Harold Angel's Bling


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A lost, celerity episode of the Newlywed Game, perhaps?

--------------------
"I'm not Irish, I'm Celtic. The difference? Celts cut off your head and put it on their door lintel." --Aimee Evilpixie
"People are bastard-covered bastards with bastard filling."--Scrubs

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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What does Petula say? I mean other than ouch.

[fish]

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Not if he did it right.

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Brad from Georgia
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
What does Petula say?
[fish]

"Up the Rebels?"

--------------------
"No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly
Hear what you're missing: ARTC podcasts! http://artcpodcast.org/

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
Not if he did it right.

So are you going to post instructions?
[fish]

OK I need to leave this thread the fish is ruining my hair

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I don't work with amateurs. If you need instructions, you'll have to get them elsewhere. [Wink]

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
I don't work with amateurs. If you need instructions, you'll have to get them elsewhere. [Wink]

Must... Not.... Make.... Obvious.... Professional... Joke.

Must.... Not.... Refer.... To.... Occupation.... Listed.... In.... Lainie's.... Profile.

Probably must apologize for this post [fish]

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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Griffin at the Maul
Joyeux New Sale


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Not sure whether it is true or false, but I can sure hear Connery saying it.

--------------------
Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?

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A Cat Named Easter
Catfish on a Hot Tin Roof


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quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
I don't work with amateurs. If you need instructions, you'll have to get them elsewhere. [Wink]

I'd recommend Nina Hartley's Guide. It's pretty comprehensive.

A Cat ~or so I've heard~ Named Easter

--------------------
I am the death that walks the night.
I am the bringer of dreamless sleep.

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Grand Illusion
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
What does Petula say? I mean other than ouch.

[fish]

You're assuming that Petula was on the recieving end [Big Grin]

--------------------
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who do not.

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" - The Brain

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Grand Illusion:
quote:
Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
What does Petula say? I mean other than ouch.

[fish]

You're assuming that Petula was on the recieving end [Big Grin]
Or maybe I was assuming that Sean was extremely tight...

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
I don't work with amateurs. If you need instructions, you'll have to get them elsewhere. [Wink]

Must... Not.... Make.... Obvious.... Professional... Joke.

Must.... Not.... Refer.... To.... Occupation.... Listed.... In.... Lainie's.... Profile.

Probably must apologize for this post [fish]

YOMANK! I just looked at Lainie's profile.

Lainie, I love you, but you backed walked right in to that one! [Roll Eyes]

--------------------
"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Not only did I walk right into that one, but it took me a minute to understand what I walked into.

Signora, I love you too.

Aptenodytes, no apologies necessary. I would have made the same joke.

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Yay, Lainie! You are one classy lady! [Smile]

--------------------
"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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You're a good sport and deserve applause, thanks Signora for providing the applause [Wink]

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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pob14
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
It is a very
pissed Connery, who simply says: "Petula Clark. 1963. Up the arse."

And here I sit, laughing uncontrollably in my office alone, with but a single thought:

"And Sean Connery is today's winner on Celebrity Pornographic Clue!"

--------------------
Patrick

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Wicked Tinkerbell
Hock Harold Angel's Bling


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quote:
Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
Not if he did it right.

So are you going to post instructions?
[fish]

OK I need to leave this thread the fish is ruining my hair

And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them along

--Lyrics "Downtown"

Somehow this seemed like an appropriate response. [Big Grin]

--------------------
"I'm not Irish, I'm Celtic. The difference? Celts cut off your head and put it on their door lintel." --Aimee Evilpixie
"People are bastard-covered bastards with bastard filling."--Scrubs

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
I don't work with amateurs. If you need instructions, you'll have to get them elsewhere. [Wink]

Must... Not.... Make.... Obvious.... Professional... Joke.

Must.... Not.... Refer.... To.... Occupation.... Listed.... In.... Lainie's.... Profile.

Probably must apologize for this post [fish]

Did she change it shortly after this post? I looked at her profile, and it says "analyst."

--------------------
"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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Analyst in a thread about sex up the arse.

PS. It helps to have a dirty mind.

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I do, but apparently not dirty enough. I was only thinking of sound and meaning; I completely overlooked how the word is spelled.

--------------------
"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
Analyst in a thread about sex up the arse.

PS. It helps to have a dirty mind.

This is true in so much of life [Wink]

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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Lindiglo
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Tinkerbell:
quote:
Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
Not if he did it right.

So are you going to post instructions?
[fish]

OK I need to leave this thread the fish is ruining my hair

And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them along

--Lyrics "Downtown"

Somehow this seemed like an appropriate response. [Big Grin]

DAMN! Spanked on the Downtown gag!
Lind"realizes she used the word spanked"iglo

--------------------
A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.
-Sophia Loren

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