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snopes
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Comment: Back when I was in the fifth grade, my best friend told me that
"Chinese women have sideways vaginas".

That is to say that, unlike women of other ethnic backgrounds, Chinese
women have vaginal canals that lean diagonally to the left or the right.

In true urban legend style, my 5th grade friend claimed that he knew it
because: his older brother (a senior in high school), had a friend, that
knew a guy who had a Chinese girlfriend. And... the guy with the
girlfriend told the friend of the older brother that her vagina was
sideways.
So you know that it has to be true. : )

At the time (in 5th grade) I believed him. As I grew up, I looked back
and laughed at how naive I had been.

But then in April of 2001, the Chinese government captured a U.S. spy
plane. And Saturday Night Live aired an episode with special guest Alec
Baldwin. Baldwin played a captured U.S. marine, and one of his lines was:
"I don't pretend to know who these Chinese people are... ...I know the
womenfolk have sideways vaginas!".

Sincerely,
The Chinese girl's, boyfriend's, friend's, friend's, younger brother's,
friend.

P.S. I've googled up the SNL transcript (Air date: Apr 7th 2001)

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/00/00ptoughguy.phtml

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courier1009
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Haven't found one yet but I'm still looking.
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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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When Alec Baldwin gives that speech in that skit I get absolutely hysterical [lol]

More seriously, as someone who has seen multi ethnic porno I can say it's not true

--------------------
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A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
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As someone who used to live in Taiwan and had a number of horny Western buddies, I have it on good authority that it's not true. [Wink]

--------------------
Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

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The Turban Legend
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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My father told me the same thing when i was a teenager. As I got older I just figured it was a racial joke. You know, "sideway" eyes must mean "sideway" vag.
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Steph Summers
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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they're all sideways if you're lying on your side....
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Brad from Georgia
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My conservative friends tell me that female NPR commentators have vaginas that lean toward the left. Does that count?

--------------------
"No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly
Hear what you're missing: ARTC podcasts! http://artcpodcast.org/

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NobbyNobbs
Deck the Malls


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Know why the crack in your butt goes up and down instead of side to side?

So when you go down the sliding board, it doesn't go "fwubba fwubba fwubba...."

--------------------
Back in the days before electricity, we were forced to watch TV by candlelight.

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pob14
Jingle Bell Hock


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My daughters are Chinese, and although their vaginas are quite young (as indeed are the rest of their bodies), neither of them go sideways.

Should either of them turn as they age, I will keep you all posted, you sick NFBSKers. [Razz]

--------------------
Patrick

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Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Well I have a tilted uterus, is that related?

--------------------
I think that hyperbole is the single greatest factor contributing to the decline of society. - My friend Pat.

What is .02 worth?

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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In the extraordinarily unlikely case that this is true, wouldn't women of mixed Chinese and non-Chinese descent logically have vaginas that "go" at various degrees, depending on their "Chineseness'?

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Lainie
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You all OMANK.

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Towknie
We Three Blings


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What about Chinese men, do their erections go horizontal?

And I'm sure I read that male NPR men hang to the left.

--------------------
Towknie: Ryda-certified as wonderful, enlighted, and rational.

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Esprise Me
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Towknie:
And I'm sure I read that male NPR men hang to the left.

As opposed to those crazy female NPR men...

--------------------
"If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf

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Davros
Happy Holly Days


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mrs Davros is Chinese and is not slanted at all
but she does have lots less body hair (legs and arms ) than pre mrs D women

--------------------
Wake up --- time to die
So I'm Evil Get over it

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people

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Davros
Happy Holly Days


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NSBSK waffles

--------------------
Wake up --- time to die
So I'm Evil Get over it

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people

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Towknie
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Esprise Me:
quote:
Originally posted by Towknie:
And I'm sure I read that male NPR men hang to the left.

As opposed to those crazy female NPR men...
It's obvious that my brain is slanted.

--------------------
Towknie: Ryda-certified as wonderful, enlighted, and rational.

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Carthage
Deck the Malls


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My wife also is of an Asian persuasion... and with no visible slant to her nether regions.

Though, I suppose I should check, in case, yanno... (Zzzzzzz...wha?... hey?!?)

Hmmm, Davros... I wonder if your wife knows my wife?

(The above is not meant to be taken seriously... merely a reflection on those, like the guy from 7-11 today, who believe that all people from a certain place, like Newfoundlanders, know each other...)

--------------------
No offense was intended. Any resemblance to any offence, alive or dead, is purely coincidental.

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DesertRat
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Utter nonsense. My wife is Chinese, and while her vagina is remarklable in a number of ways [Wink] , it is not "sideways" or angled in any way.

Some people... [Big Grin]

--------------------
High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

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penna
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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pob14- you made me laugh so hard it gave me a tummy ache

--------------------
if it sounds too good to be true, than it probably is....

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DesertRat
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:


My daughters are Chinese, and although their vaginas are quite young (as indeed are the rest of their bodies), neither of them go sideways.

Should either of them turn as they age, I will keep you all posted, you sick NFBSKers.

Please forgive me if I'm horribly misreading or misinterpreting this, but does anyone else find the above statement rather disturbing?

--------------------
High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

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Ganzfeld
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From John Prine's Chinatown:
quote:
I got a sideways hickey from a slant-eyed chickie
Down in chinatown


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NocturnalGoddess- naughty or nice?
Carol of the Dells


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The vulva doesn't slant, but, rarely, for some women, the actual vagina (like, inside the body) can tilt forward (toward the front) or backward (toward the buttocks). This has nothing to do with race, though.

--------------------
"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, EVIL stuff... and I want in."- Homer Simpson

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Nocturnal Goddess: The Bittersweet:
The vulva doesn't slant, but, rarely, for some women, the actual vagina (like, inside the body) can tilt forward (toward the front) or backward (toward the buttocks). This has nothing to do with race, though.

You mean it tilts on demand [Confused] as in an adjustable vagina??

or is it always tilted?

--------------------
Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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NocturnalGoddess- naughty or nice?
Carol of the Dells


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quote:
Originally posted by Mad Jay:
quote:
Originally posted by Nocturnal Goddess: The Bittersweet:
The vulva doesn't slant, but, rarely, for some women, the actual vagina (like, inside the body) can tilt forward (toward the front) or backward (toward the buttocks). This has nothing to do with race, though.

You mean it tilts on demand [Confused] as in an adjustable vagina??

or is it always tilted?

Like, always tilted. Like, everything that goes into it either ends up being angled up or down. I found this out at my first gynechologist (sp?) visit, when she accidently blurted out "Oh, that's really weird" (she then appologized, explained that she didn't mean the word "weird", and then told me all that) because mine angles downward.

--------------------
"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, EVIL stuff... and I want in."- Homer Simpson

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sherri_lu
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I used to get called “sideways vagina” on the playground by some mean boys! back in 3rd/4th grade.

No, mine is normal

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Steph Summers
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Noct....bitter,

So in your case, guys really go down on you......or is it come down on you, whatever.

I wonder whether the guys feel anything different, if the angle affects their performance. (I suspect we have some on the board that would like to test it for us, for scientific purposes, of course.)

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NocturnalGoddess- naughty or nice?
Carol of the Dells


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quote:
Originally posted by Steph Summers:
Noct....bitter,

So in your case, guys really go down on you......or is it come down on you, whatever.

I wonder whether the guys feel anything different, if the angle affects their performance. (I suspect we have some on the board that would like to test it for us, for scientific purposes, of course.)

Well that would depend on if a little extra pressure on the top of the penis would be benificial or not.

Nocturnal "Ready to blind with science" Goddess

--------------------
"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, EVIL stuff... and I want in."- Homer Simpson

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Steph Summers
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I don't think so. I've always thought it's the tip and underside of the penis that's most sensitive. But the guys can answer that.

Separately, it's nice of you to offer (I think) to let science pursue this (now this is real physics). If I were a guy, I'd volunteer to take you up (or down) on the offer. Obviously, you'll report the results in (breath-taking) detail.

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
posted by Steph Summers
I don't think so. I've always thought it's the tip and underside of the penis that's most sensitive. But the guys can answer that.

Then wouldn't doggy style be better with someone who had the same structure as Nocturnal Goddess?

--------------------
Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Reminds me of a letter in We've Got Mail (except it was "lesbians have sideways hoohahs").

Edited because I finally found the link!

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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If lesbians really had sideways hoohahs girls would never have to question their sexuality. That would make pretty good evidence for homosexuality not being a choice, too.

--------------------
Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Nocturnal Goddess: The Bittersweet:
quote:
Originally posted by Steph Summers:
Noct....bitter,

So in your case, guys really go down on you......or is it come down on you, whatever.

I wonder whether the guys feel anything different, if the angle affects their performance. (I suspect we have some on the board that would like to test it for us, for scientific purposes, of course.)

Well that would depend on if a little extra pressure on the top of the penis would be benificial or not.

Nocturnal "Ready to blind with science" Goddess

I am skeptical whether most guys would be able to tell the differrence. Espescially if you are well-aroused.

Besides, it's all in the motion of the ocean, and not the shape of the boat.

--------------------
Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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Steph Summers
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I think Jay is right. When erect, many men "tilt" left or right (I don't know the medical term for this "problem"), but for me the insertion feels just as good and they seem to get off as well as any other men I've had.

I suggest Noc just relax, tilt your head back and enjoy.....forget about it.

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DesertRat
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I actually tilt a little to the right when erect, but I think that's just because of years of "self-shaping of the tool." [lol]

--------------------
High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

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