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resident deity
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Not certain whether this would be better in the critter section, (or whether it's already been discussed here) but this has been going around the blogs and messageboards and smacks of Urban Legend (Especially the quote from the judge).

Unfortunately the Yorkshire Evening Post's search engine is brokt at the moment:

quote:

News from Yorskhire
Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the ra pe allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness


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Floater
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Googling for the story gave me 131 hits that look more or less identical and claim it comes from the Yorkshire Evening Post. None of the hits came from the newspaper in question and searching at the paper's home page gave me nothing. I'm prepared to call this a UL.

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Jay Tea
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Heh - turned this up earlier this week - made me laugh like a drain but it has little veracity - the googled names don't come up in the correct context either and it's easy enough find legal professionals online...

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Richard W
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Here's a copy from 2003 in which the perpetrator is named Kevin Taphouse. The wording is otherwise identical...

Here's one featuring a Mr. Hoover.

Here's one where the perpetrator isn't named, and the newspaper is the Evening Standard.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland has been mentioned in at least two other cases around Bradford:

One
Two

There are others that I didn't link to. It seems that he's a real person at least.

(edited to sort out the URLs, and again because I realised that putting Mr. Taphouse's name in the link would associate him more strongly with the story in Google!)

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resident deity
Deck the Malls


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Hmmm... I've dropped a quick email to the paper in question, though I think it's either an UL or a 'funny'. A quick search on multimap turns up neither a Marsh or an East View in Huddersfield (though there are a couple in Dewsbury).

As the address matches from the 2003 and the 2005 stories, even though the names differ, I'd guess that this is a joke...

Found one from 1999

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dramaqueen872005
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"The dog pulled my trousers down"

[lol]

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refinededge
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Could this have inspired the "dog bit my penis" episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm"?
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Barbara R.
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Some thirty-five years ago a friend of mine told me that when she was four years old a German Shepherd dog literally raped her. "He pulled my underpants down," she said, "and stuck his penis up me." Others who heard her story laughed at it and reacted with amazement, saying that she had lost her virginity to a dog!

Barbara R.

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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Well...

Remembers me of an old joke.

Do you know what the difference is between a poodle and a pit-bull ?

If a pit-bull pees on your leg, you let it finish.

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Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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It reminds me of an old joke as well - that finishes with:

"And that, your honor is what happened."

"Or at least that is the version I am sticking to."

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peculiar hailstone
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or:

how do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

suck it's dick

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Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Oh, you bastard! I just laughed so hard I woke up the WHOLE household!! [lol] Bravo!!!

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Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

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Dancin' Fool
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I am laughing so hard, tears are pouring out, I am waking up the house. Those last few posts are just hilarious . . . .

Techy

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Emy
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Alright. I have to throw in my two cents with a joke my dad told me.

Two men are walking down a railroad line and see a dog licking its crotch. The first man says, "Boy, I'd sure love to be able to do that" and in reply the second man says, "Scratch him behind the ears and maybe he'll let ya!"

*rimshot*

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Felessan
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Two dog owners are talking about Cruft's Dog Show [the biggest in the UK].

"You know, last year I entered my dog at Crufts."

"Really? Did you get anything?"

"Six months, plus psychiatric treatment."

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candycane from strangers
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quote:
posted by Barbara R.
Some thirty-five years ago a friend of mine told me that when she was four years old a German Shepherd dog literally raped her. "He pulled my underpants down," she said, "and stuck his penis up me." Others who heard her story laughed at it and reacted with amazement, saying that she had lost her virginity to a dog

If someone told me this I think my reaction would be to get nauseated, mumble something incoherent, blush, and back away slowly. I definitely would not laugh. Just thinking of this is seriously creeping me out. Was the woman at all messed up from this, for lack of a better term?

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Purple Iguana
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Wow... I've heard of guys putting peanut butter on their wangs to trick their dogs into giving them a little bit of oral, but this story definitely stinks. I don't think the horniest of dogs would attempt any kind of sexual act with a human... apart from leg-humping.

[Wink]

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Sweet Home California
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I once actually had a dream that I was raped by a dog. Wow, I forgot about that dream for about a year, until I saw this subject line. I was pretty disturbed when I awoke, obviously.

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Angel With Wax Wings
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Dogs can be trained to have sex with people. I know this because I was once offered a substantial amount of money to have sex with a dog. NO I DIDN'T DO IT!! But the woman who offered me the money told me her dog was trained for it.

~Monica

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TuFurg
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Angel With Wax Wings:
Dogs can be trained to have sex with people. I know this because I was once offered a substantial amount of money to have sex with a dog. NO I DIDN'T DO IT!! But the woman who offered me the money told me her dog was trained for it.

~Monica

I have to ask- where exactly did you know this woman from? [Confused]
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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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I'm about 90% sure I saw this at the time on a proper newspaper website. Hmm... will try to find the link.

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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So how do you go about training a dog to mount and copulate with a person?

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Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Artemis:
So how do you go about training a dog to mount and copulate with a person?

Why do you want to know?
[Wink]

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geminilee
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Purple Iguana:
Wow... I've heard of guys putting peanut butter on their wangs to trick their dogs into giving them a little bit of oral, but this story definitely stinks. I don't think the horniest of dogs would attempt any kind of sexual act with a human... apart from leg-humping.

[Wink]

And leg-humping doesn't count as a sexual act? If a dog will hump a leg, why wouldn't it hump the whole person, if said person were in the right position for it.
I don't buy the dog getting a resisting adult's pants down and into the correct position, though.

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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I walked into that one, didn't I? I'm just wondering if it's even possible to do so. Apparently it is. I know dogs will hump people's legs...but how do you get it to insert it into a person? And if a male dog is willingly inserting its penis into a human, is it being taken advantage of?

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"You can't play Electro-magnetic Golf according to the rules of Centrifugal Bumble Puppy."
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El Camino
We Three Blings


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The parts are similar enough I'm sure the dog could figure it out.
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Troberg
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While I know nothing about this specific story, there was a story some years ago in Swedish media about a small child that had injuries that made the mother and doctors suspect sexual assault. The father was the main suspect, but the child kept claiming that it was the dog.

Eventually, a police decided to try and stood on all fours, and the dog immediately jumped on her and tried to hump her with great determination (luckily, she was still wearing her uniform). It was a big dog (don't remember what breed), so strong that it took two other police officers to pull it off her.

After this (and DNA evidence if I recall correctly), the father was cleared of any suspicions.

Dogs have their urges, and domesticated dogs do not always completely understand the difference between dogs and humans (and in some cases teddybears, pillows, bags, squeakytoys, shoes, sofas...).

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/Troberg

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Floater
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quote:
Originally posted by Troberg:
It was a big dog (don't remember what breed), so strong that it took two other police officers to pull it off her.

It was a golden retriever and apparently they have a reputation of being somewhat oversexed.

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Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Floater:
quote:
Originally posted by Troberg:
It was a big dog (don't remember what breed), so strong that it took two other police officers to pull it off her.

It was a golden retriever and apparently they have a reputation of being somewhat oversexed.
Oh. My. Goddess. Just when you think you've heard it all...

-Star"glad my Golden is female"la

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Floater:
It was a golden retriever and apparently they have a reputation of being somewhat oversexed.

I remember when our golden retriever started to go a bit senile, he once got a bit excited and tried to hump my little sister when she'd just got out of the bath (she was about 6 or 7 at the time I think). In the middle of the sitting room, in front of our granny. And this was despite his having been castrated several years before that.
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Ink Rose
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Castration doesn't seem to always curb those annoying little tendencies. It's unusual but it happens, even if they're neutered early. I don't know why that is.

I don't see an untrained dog doing anything other then a good leg humping. I don't want to know any more. But I will say that whilst a dog could easily hump a person anywhere, humping normally is a prelude to the actual mating. They mate back to back, and they can 'lock' for almost an hour because of er, the way the male is built. Can we leave it at that?

My un-neutered rabbit was horrible in a different way; he took up with one of his squeaky toys and if you accidentily went near it he'd spray you with urine or whatnot.

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The Goof
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I bet the dog likes it ruff. [fish]

Sorry just had to say that.

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"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,than to open it and remove all doubt."- Mark Twain

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TuFurg
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Artemis:
I'm just wondering if it's even possible to do so.

It sure is- seen a couple videos myself. Unfortunately I'm the type that has to see certain things to believe them. [Eek!]
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Llewtrah
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Years back I saw the classic "animal lovers" video (a series of Color Climax short films stitched together), one of which involved a brown mongrel at a picnic with the 2 female owners. Blame my insatiable curiosity. There are scenes in that video I can't eradicate from my brain. Later I saw plenty of dog/girl VCDs and DVDs for sale in Amsterdam sex-shops.

Dogs get dog-knotted, but this is due to the bitch's vagina as well as the stud's penis. Apparently it won't happen with inter-species romance between stud dog and human.

On another Snopes forum a while back I posted a link to a site that recommended using a stud dog to satisfy a wife whose husband was impotent. This would keep the marriage intact and not be adultery. A large breed was recommended. The "Doctor" gave all sorts of advice about how to do it, health precautions etc. This is where it discussed dog-knotting.

AIUI, it's easy enough to train a male dog to perform with women as pet dogs are so humanised they may view women as suitable mates.

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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Llewtrah:
On another Snopes forum a while back I posted a link to a site that recommended using a stud dog to satisfy a wife whose husband was impotent. This would keep the marriage intact and not be adultery. A large breed was recommended. The "Doctor" gave all sorts of advice about how to do it, health precautions etc. This is where it discussed dog-knotting.

Wouldn't it be better to just buy her a dildo? [Eek!]

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