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Author Topic: Man raped by dog!
Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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It reminds me of an old joke as well - that finishes with:

"And that, your honor is what happened."

"Or at least that is the version I am sticking to."

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Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

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peculiar hailstone
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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or:

how do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

suck it's dick

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my wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday...

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Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Oh, you bastard! I just laughed so hard I woke up the WHOLE household!! [lol] Bravo!!!

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Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

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Dancin' Fool
Deck the Malls


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I am laughing so hard, tears are pouring out, I am waking up the house. Those last few posts are just hilarious . . . .

Techy

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Emy
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Alright. I have to throw in my two cents with a joke my dad told me.

Two men are walking down a railroad line and see a dog licking its crotch. The first man says, "Boy, I'd sure love to be able to do that" and in reply the second man says, "Scratch him behind the ears and maybe he'll let ya!"

*rimshot*

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Felessan
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Two dog owners are talking about Cruft's Dog Show [the biggest in the UK].

"You know, last year I entered my dog at Crufts."

"Really? Did you get anything?"

"Six months, plus psychiatric treatment."

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You fool! That's not a warrior, that's a banana!
- a surreal moment in a role-playing game

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
posted by Barbara R.
Some thirty-five years ago a friend of mine told me that when she was four years old a German Shepherd dog literally raped her. "He pulled my underpants down," she said, "and stuck his penis up me." Others who heard her story laughed at it and reacted with amazement, saying that she had lost her virginity to a dog

If someone told me this I think my reaction would be to get nauseated, mumble something incoherent, blush, and back away slowly. I definitely would not laugh. Just thinking of this is seriously creeping me out. Was the woman at all messed up from this, for lack of a better term?

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Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

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Purple Iguana
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Wow... I've heard of guys putting peanut butter on their wangs to trick their dogs into giving them a little bit of oral, but this story definitely stinks. I don't think the horniest of dogs would attempt any kind of sexual act with a human... apart from leg-humping.

[Wink]

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They just don't make crazed, beserk robots like they used to. --Sheen Estevez, Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

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Sweet Home California
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I once actually had a dream that I was raped by a dog. Wow, I forgot about that dream for about a year, until I saw this subject line. I was pretty disturbed when I awoke, obviously.

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I really hate one-eyed flying purple people eaters! I mean, seriously! They're all like, "I like to eat people, I'm purple, I fly and I have one eye!"-We've Got Mail!

The first game ever made using sand, water, oil, and a snail.

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Angel With Wax Wings
Deck the Malls


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Dogs can be trained to have sex with people. I know this because I was once offered a substantial amount of money to have sex with a dog. NO I DIDN'T DO IT!! But the woman who offered me the money told me her dog was trained for it.

~Monica

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"Run for five minutes? Why don't you just shoot me now?"--Comic Book Guy (Simpsons)

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TuFurg
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Angel With Wax Wings:
Dogs can be trained to have sex with people. I know this because I was once offered a substantial amount of money to have sex with a dog. NO I DIDN'T DO IT!! But the woman who offered me the money told me her dog was trained for it.

~Monica

I have to ask- where exactly did you know this woman from? [Confused]
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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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I'm about 90% sure I saw this at the time on a proper newspaper website. Hmm... will try to find the link.

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Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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So how do you go about training a dog to mount and copulate with a person?

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"You can't play Electro-magnetic Golf according to the rules of Centrifugal Bumble Puppy."
-Mustapha Mond, "Brave New World"

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Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Artemis:
So how do you go about training a dog to mount and copulate with a person?

Why do you want to know?
[Wink]

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This used to be the life, but I don't need another one.
MyBandwagon

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geminilee
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Purple Iguana:
Wow... I've heard of guys putting peanut butter on their wangs to trick their dogs into giving them a little bit of oral, but this story definitely stinks. I don't think the horniest of dogs would attempt any kind of sexual act with a human... apart from leg-humping.

[Wink]

And leg-humping doesn't count as a sexual act? If a dog will hump a leg, why wouldn't it hump the whole person, if said person were in the right position for it.
I don't buy the dog getting a resisting adult's pants down and into the correct position, though.

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"Accompanied by the ghosts of dolphins, the ghost of a ship sailed on..." Terry Pratchett

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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I walked into that one, didn't I? I'm just wondering if it's even possible to do so. Apparently it is. I know dogs will hump people's legs...but how do you get it to insert it into a person? And if a male dog is willingly inserting its penis into a human, is it being taken advantage of?

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"You can't play Electro-magnetic Golf according to the rules of Centrifugal Bumble Puppy."
-Mustapha Mond, "Brave New World"

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El Camino
We Three Blings


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The parts are similar enough I'm sure the dog could figure it out.
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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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While I know nothing about this specific story, there was a story some years ago in Swedish media about a small child that had injuries that made the mother and doctors suspect sexual assault. The father was the main suspect, but the child kept claiming that it was the dog.

Eventually, a police decided to try and stood on all fours, and the dog immediately jumped on her and tried to hump her with great determination (luckily, she was still wearing her uniform). It was a big dog (don't remember what breed), so strong that it took two other police officers to pull it off her.

After this (and DNA evidence if I recall correctly), the father was cleared of any suspicions.

Dogs have their urges, and domesticated dogs do not always completely understand the difference between dogs and humans (and in some cases teddybears, pillows, bags, squeakytoys, shoes, sofas...).

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/Troberg

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by Troberg:
It was a big dog (don't remember what breed), so strong that it took two other police officers to pull it off her.

It was a golden retriever and apparently they have a reputation of being somewhat oversexed.

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Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

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Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Floater:
quote:
Originally posted by Troberg:
It was a big dog (don't remember what breed), so strong that it took two other police officers to pull it off her.

It was a golden retriever and apparently they have a reputation of being somewhat oversexed.
Oh. My. Goddess. Just when you think you've heard it all...

-Star"glad my Golden is female"la

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This used to be the life, but I don't need another one.
MyBandwagon

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Floater:
It was a golden retriever and apparently they have a reputation of being somewhat oversexed.

I remember when our golden retriever started to go a bit senile, he once got a bit excited and tried to hump my little sister when she'd just got out of the bath (she was about 6 or 7 at the time I think). In the middle of the sitting room, in front of our granny. And this was despite his having been castrated several years before that.
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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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Castration doesn't seem to always curb those annoying little tendencies. It's unusual but it happens, even if they're neutered early. I don't know why that is.

I don't see an untrained dog doing anything other then a good leg humping. I don't want to know any more. But I will say that whilst a dog could easily hump a person anywhere, humping normally is a prelude to the actual mating. They mate back to back, and they can 'lock' for almost an hour because of er, the way the male is built. Can we leave it at that?

My un-neutered rabbit was horrible in a different way; he took up with one of his squeaky toys and if you accidentily went near it he'd spray you with urine or whatnot.

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Website: http://stu.aii.edu/~krm184
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The Goof
Deck the Malls


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I bet the dog likes it ruff. [fish]

Sorry just had to say that.

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"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,than to open it and remove all doubt."- Mark Twain

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TuFurg
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Artemis:
I'm just wondering if it's even possible to do so.

It sure is- seen a couple videos myself. Unfortunately I'm the type that has to see certain things to believe them. [Eek!]
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Llewtrah
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Years back I saw the classic "animal lovers" video (a series of Color Climax short films stitched together), one of which involved a brown mongrel at a picnic with the 2 female owners. Blame my insatiable curiosity. There are scenes in that video I can't eradicate from my brain. Later I saw plenty of dog/girl VCDs and DVDs for sale in Amsterdam sex-shops.

Dogs get dog-knotted, but this is due to the bitch's vagina as well as the stud's penis. Apparently it won't happen with inter-species romance between stud dog and human.

On another Snopes forum a while back I posted a link to a site that recommended using a stud dog to satisfy a wife whose husband was impotent. This would keep the marriage intact and not be adultery. A large breed was recommended. The "Doctor" gave all sorts of advice about how to do it, health precautions etc. This is where it discussed dog-knotting.

AIUI, it's easy enough to train a male dog to perform with women as pet dogs are so humanised they may view women as suitable mates.

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Messybeast Cat Resource Archive
Llewtrah's Soapbox

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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Llewtrah:
On another Snopes forum a while back I posted a link to a site that recommended using a stud dog to satisfy a wife whose husband was impotent. This would keep the marriage intact and not be adultery. A large breed was recommended. The "Doctor" gave all sorts of advice about how to do it, health precautions etc. This is where it discussed dog-knotting.

Wouldn't it be better to just buy her a dildo? [Eek!]

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Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!

IMJW-052804

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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
quote:
Originally posted by Llewtrah:
On another Snopes forum a while back I posted a link to a site that recommended using a stud dog to satisfy a wife whose husband was impotent. This would keep the marriage intact and not be adultery. A large breed was recommended. The "Doctor" gave all sorts of advice about how to do it, health precautions etc. This is where it discussed dog-knotting.

Wouldn't it be better to just buy her a dildo? [Eek!]
It's obviously too logical [Roll Eyes]

quote:
AIUI, it's easy enough to train a male dog to perform with women as pet dogs are so humanised they may view women as suitable mates.
Urk. I had a feeling that was the case. [Eek!] Blaurgh. Why don't they include a little vomit smiley, btw. It's idea for glurge and other things...

Dogs are very much genetically different from wolves. That is to say they're not just bred to be more amiable they tend to view human children the way wolves view their pups. (One person pointed that one of his wolfies like to carry around small children in his mouth, the kids were unhurt but the parents used to freak.)

quote:
Dogs get dog-knotted, but this is due to the bitch's vagina as well as the stud's penis.
I didn't think it would work given the differences in anatomy. The real issue that's bothering me is, judging by what you said they go all the way.

Now I'm going to scrub my eyes and mouth out with soap and knock down an entire family sized bottle of pepto-bismal.

Edit:
 -
Just a quick mock-up (I made it in about 2 mintues, so yeah it's ugly)
[Big Grin]

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Website: http://stu.aii.edu/~krm184
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7thWheel
I Saw Three Shipments


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This gives a whole new meaning to "Rover Come!"
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Joostik
The First USA Noel


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Man Raped by Dog

It's true -- this is the video to prove it!

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Alistair
Billy, Don't Be a Hero Sandwich


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I read that story about a year ago and posted it on my blog. UL...most definitely.
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Barbara R.
Deck the Malls


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The dog is my favorite animal and the beagle is my favorite breed. However, all this talk is SICK!! SICK!! SICK!!

Barbara R.

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Barbara R.:
However, all this talk is SICK!! SICK!! SICK!!

Yes, it is. What's your point? [fish] [Big Grin]

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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ParrotLady1978
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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De-lurking to respond to this one

My mom has a dog (3 dogs, actually, but only one of them is relevant to this topic). The dog is an Old English Sheepdog which is a large dog. Because he is a purebreed, my parents were planning on having him stand at stud, so he wasn't fixed. Well, he decided that my mom was his hoochie mama and kept trying to get it on with her. Now, my mom is 6' tall but she's thin, and even though he couldn't knock her down, she did have trouble getting him to back off because he would literally put his front paws around her waist and hold her. It took a LOT of shocks from a cattle prod to get him to realize she wasn't interested!

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BlankStare
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Oh my gosh! A cattle prod? [Eek!] For my boyfriend's birthday last year his friend from work threw him a party. She has a big dog but I don't know what type of dog he is. Anyway over the course of the party she got very drunk and at one point got on her hands and knees to pick something up from underneath the table. When she did that her dog hopped on her and tried humping it. It was shocking to see him do this. Later again she bent over and he again tried to hump her. It kinda made me wonder what was going on when it was just she and her dog alone in the house.

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That was Merle Haggard with I Kissed My Sweetie With My Fist.

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by inkrose115:
Castration doesn't seem to always curb those annoying little tendencies. It's unusual but it happens, even if they're neutered early. I don't know why that is.

I'm surprised that no one has yet mentioned that humping is not always sexual; it's often a way to display dominance. Neutered, intact, male, female, old, young...it doesn't matter, I've seen all kinds of dogs hump (and I've been the unwilling recipient of some humping). My own dog will aggressively hump others at the dog park; even though he's neutered, he'll sometimes get erect while humping another dog. Usually it's from the side, but sometimes he gets a little too close to the vagina or anus and the other dog's owner gets mad.

Often the urge to hump has nothing to do with the dog's sex drive and is caused by the dog's desire to assert itself as the alpha, or at least dominant to whatever the dog sees as a "threat" to its position in the pack.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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