posted
*I'm sorry that this glurge isnt Co0L eNufF foR Co0l Typiing!!*
I'm sorry
That I'm not enough of a slut to sleep with you on a first date
I'm sorry
That my boobs aren't big enough to "satisfy" your needs
I'm sorry
that I'm not anorexic and skinny enough for you to see my ribs
I'm sorry
That I'm not pretty enough to be "your girl"
I'm sorry
That I'm not a Playboy model so I can't act like a porn star for you
I'm sorry
I don't have a dream body that turns you on
But most of all
I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am
If you're a girl and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry"
If You're one of the few guys with enough balls to repost, and you would never make your girl feel this way, repost as "I appreciate you
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Let me guess...after writing this in her diary, she tried to kill herself because she'd never be pretty enough for Popular Guy. Been there, done that. Get over your teenage melodrama.
Is there a term for this teenage-girl-with-no-self-esteem-attacks-all-teenage-guys-cuz-one-broke-her-heart crap?
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Cervus: Is there a term for this teenage-girl-with-no-self-esteem-attacks-all-teenage-guys-cuz-one-broke-her-heart crap?
Shrew? As in Taming of the Shrew?
A more modern defintion might be, "every Meg Ryan and Sandra Bullock movie."
-------------------- "Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself." - Hamlet Posts: 344 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
I'm sorry that I entered this thread. I'll learn one of these days.
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
DH and I refer to that dark time in our lives when the DD was a teenager who had just got her little heart broken as: "Being on the pysch ward without prozac."
Then she joined the Navy and learned how to shoot a 50 cal and all was peaceful and happy in our house again (and she never had a problem with a date ever after..heehee)
-------------------- Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte Posts: 47 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2006
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That I'm not a Playboy model so I can't act like a porn star for you
Who says you have to be a Playboy model, or even look like one, to act like a porn star?
Besides, why is she so sorry that a shallow jerk doesn't want to be with her?
-------------------- saxea ut effigies bacchantis prospicit eheu | prospicit et magnis curarum fluctuat undis -Catullus Posts: 435 | From: Iowa | Registered: Mar 2006
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Ariadne: Besides, why is she so sorry that a shallow jerk doesn't want to be with her?
Methinks you just answered your own question. He's a horrible excuse of a person, and even he won't deal with her. What chance does she have with a sane, glurge-hating person?
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Squishy0405: If You're one of the few guys with enough balls to repost
I'm sorry if I don't have big enough huevos to repost this...
Um huevos?
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Squishy0405:
quote:Originally posted by Doug4.7:
quote:Originally posted by Squishy0405: If You're one of the few guys with enough balls to repost
I'm sorry if I don't have big enough huevos to repost this...
Um huevos?
Means exactly what you think it means, Squishy.
That's right ... eggs.
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Testosterone glazed eyeballs, mentally undressing all that slip into their quarry?
-------------------- The salty fragrance of L’EauD’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles. Posts: 1983 | From: Chicagoland, IL | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
I've tried using my testicles to resend the message but the boss has asked me to stop.
Dropbear
-------------------- " The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett) Posts: 823 | From: Hobart, Tasmania | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ariadne: Besides, why is she so sorry that a shallow jerk doesn't want to be with her?
Methinks you just answered your own question. He's a horrible excuse of a person, and even he won't deal with her. What chance does she have with a sane, glurge-hating person?
Ahhh, I see what you mean. Perhaps if she would stop apologizing for everything (and writing crapppy glurge) she would be more pleasant to be around and score herself a nice guy. Because, as we all know, the sole purpose of life is finding a guy, especially in teenage myglurge world.
-------------------- saxea ut effigies bacchantis prospicit eheu | prospicit et magnis curarum fluctuat undis -Catullus Posts: 435 | From: Iowa | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
"If You're one of the few guys with enough balls to repost, and you would never make your girl feel this way, repost as "I appreciate you"
- Look at her, for all her whining about the guy and his obsessions, it's obvious what she's obsessed with, maybe his "balls" weren't big enough for her?
Here's a different treatment of the "I'm Sorry"
I'm sorry
That I got your two heads confused.
I'm sorry
That I'm too busy with my own life to give a crap about "satisfying" your bust-lusts
I'm sorry
that you're not a galaxy away and I'll never risk the chance of seeing your ugly mug at my door again.
I'm sorry
That I'm far too smart to be "your girl"
I'm sorry
That I broke your butt-ugly model car and can't fix it for you.
I'm sorry
I don't have a dream that includes you, since you don't turn me on.
But most of all
I'm sorry
That you're not a man, just a huge waste of time.
Posts: 63 | From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006
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Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality. Posts: 779 | From: Southampton, England | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Yes, jessboo, because if you do not you are shallow.
-------------------- "Accompanied by the ghosts of dolphins, the ghost of a ship sailed on..." Terry Pratchett Posts: 660 | From: Gainesville, FL | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
The messages in these whiny girl-crush glurges seems to be 'give the girl with the bottomless pit of a need for ego-stroking your whole being, including your soul, even if you don't like her or else she'll try to trash your reputation and kill herself and that'll be your fault.'
Tip to girl: get a backbone and some self-worth before venturing out into relationships.
Posts: 63 | From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Ariadne: Because, as we all know, the sole purpose of life is finding a guy, especially in teenage myglurge world.
You mean it isn't? And what could be more important, I ask? What, I beseech thee, what?
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
The ironic thing is I bet there are plenty of boys on her social level that would date her but she probably thinks they're not good looking enough.
Posts: 835 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Exactly, Hubert, which is sort of what I meant by "Maybe his balls aren't big enough for her". Well - she brought it up in the first place, and walked right into that one, didn't she?
Posts: 63 | From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote: I've tried using my testicles to resend the message but the boss has asked me to stop.
Dropbear, I just laughed so loudly that I scared my daughter. (In my defense, I sneezed once and scared her).
I'm sorry
That my self-esteem is so little that I need to browbeat you into making up part of it.
I'm sorry
That eventually I will have a psychotic episode and spend all night on the phone with you, crying, because you happened to look at another girl who was walking by.
(bloody insecure teenagers, giving women a bad name...)
-------------------- Tyger, Tyger burning bright In the forest of the night What immortal hand or eye Hath framed thy fearful symmetry? Posts: 74 | From: Charlotte, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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Tom o' Bedlam
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
quote:Originally posted by Ariadne:
quote:I'm sorry
That I'm not a Playboy model so I can't act like a porn star for you
Who says you have to be a Playboy model, or even look like one, to act like a porn star?
I thought the same thing. It's not as though porn stars are renowned for their superior acting abilities...
-------------------- Still I sing bonny boys, bonny mad boys, Bedlam boys are bonny, For they all go bare and they live by the air And they want no drink nor money! Posts: 107 | From: San Diego, CA | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Squishy0405: If You're one of the few guys with enough balls to repost
I'm sorry if I don't have big enough huevos to repost this...
I don't think size has anything to do with it. Numbers, however...
Just how many balls is "enough"?
-------------------- I swear, it was funnier in my head. Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink. Posts: 2493 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
I don't know anyone who watches porn for the acting.
"I'm just not getting the vibe from this character. Does she really miss having a boyfriend so much that she would sleep with this guy? Or is there something deeper in her psyche we're just not seeing, something she won't release until she confronts what's bothering her in...oh, thank God, she took her clothes off and is boffing his brains out. Ooo, the other chick got nekkid and is joining in, too!"
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Ugh. Shouldn't all of those say that you're NOT sorry? I mean, 'sorry' implies that you think there's something wrong with not being slutty, or anorexic, or whatever.
I'm NOT sorry for any that crap! I'm proud, PROUD! Well, I guess I'm not proud of my weight. I've put on a bit lately. And I do act a little like a porn star so that one doesn't quite apply to me. I'm proud that I DO act like a porn star, I guess.
Also, I prefer the word 'conejos' to 'huevos'. Because 'conejos' makes no sense in that usage, but people who don't know any spanish will just assume what they think it means, and it amuses me.
Posts: 98 | From: Omaha, NE | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
I'm pretty sure we're meant to feel really sorry for this girl and think "All these mean guys drive girls to have low self esteem and say things like that."
Posts: 480 | From: British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Could you possibly mean "cojones," or are you actually saying "conejos" to be funny?
ETA: This was in reply to Missie. The reason I ask is because my mother used to purposely mispronounce "epitome" when making a certain joke.
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I want to know what exactly is slutty about sleeping with someone on the first date? It might not be *wise* but I always pictured "slutty" as more like sleeping with anything with a pulse and an organ.
Posts: 58 | From: Colorado Springs, CO | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Signora Del Drago: Could you possibly mean "cojones," or are you actually saying "conejos" to be funny?
ETA: This was in reply to Missie. The reason I ask is because my mother used to purposely mispronounce "epitome" when making a certain joke.
No, I meant conejos, and yes, I do know what that means. That's why it amuses me.
It's rabbits, ain't it? And I read that somewhere...I'm thinking Mike Nelson?
-------------------- "My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich." "Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?" "Maybe." Posts: 496 | From: Whitby, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
So, how do you pronounce "conejos?" That would be very amusing. I just love to learn something new. Thanks! I'll pull that on a friend of mine if I can learn to pronounce it.
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I believe it's "Koh-NAY-hohs" if I correctly remember my 7th grade Spanish.
-------------------- "My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich." "Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?" "Maybe." Posts: 496 | From: Whitby, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Signora Del Drago: Could you possibly mean "cojones," or are you actually saying "conejos" to be funny?
ETA: This was in reply to Missie. The reason I ask is because my mother used to purposely mispronounce "epitome" when making a certain joke.
No, I meant conejos, and yes, I do know what that means. That's why it amuses me.
It's rabbits, ain't it? And I read that somewhere...I'm thinking Mike Nelson?
Aye, you got me, it means 'rabbits'. I just love the way 'conejos' SOUNDS like something that might be implying something about one's manliness (ie, "You don't have the conejos!"), but it actually is a word used in completely the wrong context and so doesn't actually mean anything.
And, the first time I heard that particular word in that usage was on the Brunching Shuttlecocks, specifically this Book of Ratings article (under Mr. Green). I've been using it ever since.
Posts: 98 | From: Omaha, NE | Registered: Apr 2005
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