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Author Topic: Eggs in the boot
snopes
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In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU"

She responded: "ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT, COZ INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL"

Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the boot was intact. The police said there was no way the boot could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the boot was a crate of eggs, none was broken.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

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Dropbear
Angels from the Realms so Glurgy


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Gosh - a vindictive and spiteful God with a really average sense of humour.

And what's with the police? - "I'm sorry to tell you Ma'am your daughter has been killed in an horrific accident - but wait, fabulous news - the boot full of eggs are Okay - Praise the Lord, the eggs are ok!"

Dropbear

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" The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett)

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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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Yes, it's all that girl's fault for making God ride in the boot. Also, if that's such a safe place, perhaps I'll stow my children in there.

This seems to belong to a class of negative or anti-glurge (?), in which someone utters something ("may I be struck by lightning..."), and bad results follow.

A prominent example would be the story that "the Jews" told Pilate to crucify Jesus, and to let it be upon their heads, and their posterity. After that, much persecution and killing ensued for most of two millennia. All their own fault, of course.

In my own subculture, there is a rumor - told as a joke, not a warning - that a man said he would die before he ever joined the church, but then his heart changed, and he decided to be baptized. As it was winter, he had to be submerged in a hole in the ice of the local river. However, while under the water, he was swept away by the current, thereby dying after being baptized, but - true to his words - before being confirmed as a member of the church. Pretty silly, hmm? But to take such things seriously?

I don't think the diety is such a stickler for vengence or self-damnation, even in jest, especially of people who had nothing to do with the utterance. God can't take the blame for consenting adults getting injured or killed while voluntarily riding with a drunk driver. There is no guarantee that God will protect you from your own bad decisions.

Twas a miracle about the eggs, although it violates the axiom to not put all your eggs in one boot!

I've also heard the car-related religious expression that "God/angels/the Holy Ghost doesn't travel above the speed limit." Not that they need to, but I'm usually running late, or get aggitated stuck behind slowpokes, so I do!

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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TB Tabby
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Glurge that assumes the recipient is familiar with British slang.

ETA: Sorry, I couldn't think of a better term.

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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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Clever, Tabby, but you know boot means trunk, right? And, the bonnet is the hood.

You're right, though; some people aren't BBC viewers. I've been an Anglophile since I was a kid; blame the Beatles, old Alec Guiness, Margaret Rutherford, and Terry Thomas movies, even before Monty Python and all the Britcoms since. I'm even a Whovian and a Smeghead!

However, I remain a committed republican.

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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Tarquin Farquart
The First USA Noel


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But if there boot was full of eggs, there wasn't room for God there.

How odd.

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I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So there!

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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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How true, Farquart. If the car was full of people, and the boot was fill of eggs, God should have sat on someone's lap, and this whole tragedy could have been averted.

For added safety, they should have had a plastic Jesus mounted on the dashboard, beneath the fuzzy paradise.

Did I hear someone say seatbelts and designated driver?

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by TB Tabby:
Glurge that assumes the recipient is familiar with British slang.

If you do mean "boot", it's not British slang any more than "trunk" is US slang. It's just the word for it here.
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Auntie Witch
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the concept of a mother that would knowingly put her kid in a car with a drunk driver, with little more to say about it than, "Go with God."

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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I'm sure this is re-glurge but I'm apparently rubbish at using the search feature.

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Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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SweetieBird
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Dropbear:
"I'm sorry to tell you Ma'am your daughter has been killed in an horrific accident - but wait, fabulous news - the boot full of eggs are Okay - Praise the Lord, the eggs are ok!"


That. Is some funny sh*t!

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"Bad grammar makes me [sic]" -- seen on a t-shirt

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Ligeia
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by jessboo:
I'm sure this is re-glurge but I'm apparently rubbish at using the search feature.

Me too. I know I've seen this here before, although maybe not with the eggs.

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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If you want to make an omelet you have to break some eggs.

Dawn--and that's no yolk!!--Storm

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Tarquin Farquart
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by DawnStorm:
If you want to make an omelet you have to break some eggs.

Dawn--and that's no yolk!!--Storm

[lol]

Makes you wonder why they used eggs for this though, maybe because they're easily broken?

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I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So there!

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by DawnStorm:
If you want to make an omelet you have to break some eggs.

But any idiot can break eggs without making an omelette.

(I can't remember where I heard that, but I like it...)

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BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Erm, if this sounded familiar to you, that's because it was part of a larger glurge, but has apparently now taken on a life of its own. The glurge that brought us the Great Salamander Smiting Experiment of 2006.

The Horror!

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"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I'm suddenly reminded of the Geico ad: your daughter is dead, but I've got great news! I just save a bunch of money on my car insurance!

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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I'm Dreaming of a White Canvas
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Tarquin Farquart:


Makes you wonder why they used eggs for this though, maybe because they're easily broken?

Maybe they were turkey eggs?

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"You hold the Prince so I can duct tape his bottom to keep the bugs out." - My Mom

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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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I've heard that people have been known to have eyes and chests punctured by those little Jesus statues during accidents.
In one of his books Michael Crichton had his character chuckle about people getting speared by religion, while the surgeons were ticked off ebcause they're the ones that have to repair the damage.
My BIL just muttered soemthing about irony and went back to fighting zombines on his XBox. [Big Grin]
God should get himself a proper sense of humor. If I ruled the universe it would end with the startled teens realizing their whole car is toasted while egg yolks drip down their faces.
Apparently the trunk is a safter place to store that crud.

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VersesBatman
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by DawnStorm:
I'm suddenly reminded of the Geico ad: your daughter is dead, but I've got great news! I just save a bunch of money on my car insurance!

That immediatly sprung to my mind as well. [lol]

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evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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Any guesses on why they had a trunk full of eggs?

Juvenile pranks or more nefarious purposes?

And if God can't squeeze into a full car, than what kind of omnipotent non-corporeal deity is is?

ETA: I really wanted this to be a bizarre metaphor glurge...something about how Sin is like an egg in your shoe or some such madness.

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"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU"

THIS is that mother's idea of warning her daughter? "Go with God"? How about, "Your friends are three sheets to the wind, don't get in the car unless you want to be peeled off the dashboard a few hours later"? Or I don't know, calling the cops because there's an obviously drunk driver on the road? This "Let's leave everything to God" attitude pisses me off. It's so staggeringly stupid.
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Penny
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by TB Tabby:
Glurge that assumes the recipient is familiar with British slang.

That's not much different from glurge that assumes everyone knows the American names for things.
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Eddylizard
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Penny:
quote:
Originally posted by TB Tabby:
Glurge that assumes the recipient is familiar with British slang.

That's not much different from glurge that assumes everyone knows the American names for things.
Glurge authors are equal opportunity irritants.

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"Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people."

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Llewtrah
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Tarquin Farquart:
quote:
Originally posted by DawnStorm:
If you want to make an omelet you have to break some eggs.

Dawn--and that's no yolk!!--Storm

[lol]

Makes you wonder why they used eggs for this though, maybe because they're easily broken?

But they didn't state what sort of eggs. Ostrich eggs (might be a small crate or a big boot) wouldn't break so easily. Butterfly eggs - might be hard to see if they're broken. Reptile eggs have softer shells and might dent then recover instead of breaking. There's an assumption they are hen's eggs. They might be balut (hard boiled duck foetal eggs). Or caviar (sturgeon eggs) except that would be darned expensive.

"Boot" and "bonnet" are technical car-part terms over here, not slang at all. But to help y'all out, we have estate cars (station wagons), hatchbacks, saloon cars and people carriers (MPVs). 4WDs/off-road vehicles equate to your SUVs. The type of egg and size of crate would be dependent on the type of vehicle.

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Cactus Wren
Jingle Bell Hock


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You know, if I believed in a god, I think I might find this glurge even more offensive than "Angels in the Alley".

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -- Edward R. Murrow

IOToriSparrowANK!

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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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Ostrich eggs are darn near indestructible, of course car crashes do exert a lot of pressued but nonetheless I know that any animal that eats the eggs has a heck of a time getting the things open. It's a nice strong shape.

I could see a boot full of butterfly eges too.

So yes, God is just a lazy wuss who let his magniftying glass at home. [Big Grin]

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Chocklit
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by Auntie Witch:
I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the concept of a mother that would knowingly put her kid in a car with a drunk driver, with little more to say about it than, "Go with God."

You obviously don't have a teenage daughter. [lol] I didn't even find out some of the crazy, dangerous stuff my daughter did until years later. And we could not always stop her from doing what she wanted to do. As for my four sons, I prayed for extra guardian angels to be on 24-hour duty! [Roll Eyes]

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"Jesus must be spinning in his grave." - Barney Gumble

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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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*chuckles* But you wouldn't practically shove her right into the path of dnager without a fight first, right? I hope... O_O

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Website: http://stu.aii.edu/~krm184
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Samantha Vimes
Jingle Bell Hock


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I'm sure my mother would have sat on the hood of the car, if needed to keep a load of drunks from hitting the road, and let them know they had a choice. Everyone climb out of the car and call their parents to let them know they'd be staying at our house for a while (to nap it off) or my father would be on the phone with the police.

"Go with God" doesn't cut it.

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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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Amen to that Samantha Vimes! Besides, I though God was supposed to help those who helped themselves, not as an aid for idiotic lazy parents who couldn't even make half an effort.

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Website: http://stu.aii.edu/~krm184
Comic: http://elfhome.keenspace.com

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