posted
As the silver-haired woman walked up the long drive, she could see him peering through the window. Every day it was the same thing; she would come to clean up the house and he would just sit there in his wheel chair staring out the window. Oh, he could speak alright, but I suppose he simply chose not to. And who could blame him? Ever since the accident five years ago, the once familiar faces that used to fill this large home with life began to slowly drift away, much like his once positive attitude.
"Good morning, sir", Helen, the housekeeper stated as she walked through the door.
Charles, the thirty-five-year-old paraplegic whose domicile it was, grunted.
"Cat got your tongue again today, sir?" retorted Helen coyly as she began to put away the dishes on the counter.
Again Charles simply grunted and continued to stare out the window.
The day progressed and Helen went about dusting, polishing, sweeping and washing. It was a particularly dreary afternoon due to what seemed like an all-day rain. Feeling her mood drop a little, and knowing how much a good ditty raised her spirits, Helen turned on the radio, going from station to station in an effort to find just the right song. Just as she found a lively polka, suddenly a loud roar pierced the melodic tones coming from the radio.
"Turn that garbage off!" demanded Charles, his face contorted with anger.
Helen was so caught off guard by the sudden strong display of emotion that, in her attempt to quickly turn the radio off, she accidentally broke the nob completely off. With polka music now blaring, Helen momentarily stood expressionless. Then, all of a sudden, her lip began to crinkle, then tremble, and from the depths of her belly came the most delightful and prolonged laugh! Glancing over, Helen could not believe her eyes! Her wheel chair-bound boss was also chuckling heartily!
Upon composing themselves and unplugging the radio, Charles used his eyes to motion for Helen to come near him. Helen knelt near his wheel chair to ensure that they could face one another.
"I am so very sorry for yelling at you, Helen", stated Charles as he stared intensely at the elderly woman's face. "I dont know what came over me, not just at that moment, but ever since I've been a prisoner to this wheel chair. Hearing the music was yet another cruel and painful reminder of what I have lost, and never will have again.
Helen didn't say a word, but merely held Charles' limp hand and listened.
"At one time I used to love music, dancing, reading, and the arts in general. All of that died when I became paralyzed. Look at my life now. I have nothing."
Tears began to roll from Charles eyes. Helen let go of Charles' hand, and began to dig through her purse, immediately grasping a tiny framed picture.
"Look at this picture, and tell me what you see", she quietly asked Charles as he looked at her puzzled.
"It's blank. Nothing is there. It's just white", replied Charles.
Helen smiled subtly, and said, "Oh no, sir. It is a beautiful snow fall, or perhaps it is a fluffy white cotton ball, or a crisp white bed sheet hanging outside on a line outside to dry." She continued, "That picture is like ones life. Either it can remain a blank canvas, or we can make something beautiful and meaningful out of it. The choice is ours."
"No, said Charles, I didn't have a choice. My choice was stolen away!"
Helen smiled again and quietly replied, "I beg to differ, sir. You still have choices, but you just need to be a bit more creative by digging a little deeper, so that you can see what those choices might be."
Charles now clung to her every word. "I don't understand what you mean. Please explain."
Helen thought a moment; then her eyes lit up. "You like music and dancing, right, sir?"
"No, I USED to enjoy dancing to good music!" Abruptly stated Charles.
"No, sir, if you loved it once, you will still love it, but remember what I said; be creative!" Stated Helen assuredly, and she moved his one good finger over the switch that made his electric wheel chair move. She then walked over to the radio and plugged it back in to the wall, the robust polka music still playing. Up and down went the click of Charless switch, and back and forth went his wheel chair. Charles smiled richly, then clicked the tiny lever to the right, then left, and round and round went his wheel chair!
"Look, Helen! I'm dancing! I'm dancing to the music!"
Helen nodded, grinning from ear to ear as she reached over to momentarily stop Charles' chair from moving two and fro.
"There's more, sir", stated Helen. "Remember how, before your accident, you always used to say that you loved being around little children because they were so full of promise? Well, there is no reason why you can't still live out that dream by being a little creative. You may not be able to push a child on a swing at the play ground, but the local library has been searching high and low for someone to fill the part-time position of storyteller in the children's reading room."
For the first time in a very long time, within Charles eyes, Helen could see life and hope. She did all she could to keep herself from crying at that moment; however, these would be tears of joy.
With new, bright eyes, Charles asked, Helen, "how did you get to be so wise?"
Helen looked down to her arm, and slowly began pulling up her sleeve, soon to reveal tiny numbers permanently marked on her skin.
"You see, sir, when I was a little girl, my entire family died in a concentration camp. I was the only survivor, and I had no one, not even an aunt or uncle. Like you, I felt like I had everything important taken away from me, and my future seemed very bleak. A kind couple adopted me shortly after that, and while I still missed and loved my family, I came to also love them. They showed me that we all are special in God's eyes, and that we also have special gifts that we need to discover and use so that we can help others. It is this circle of giving and receiving that life is all about. Through this I was able to experince joy again."
Helen then reached into her purse again to fumble with the tiny framed picture.
"They are the ones who gave me the tiny white picture many years ago, and before I left for college they told me that what that picture reflects is up to ME."
Charles sat motionless, once again staring momentarily out the window, then stated with newfound resolution, "Helen, tomorrow is going to be a brand new day; the beginning of my new life!"
Posts: 36029 | From: Admin | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
That - was the worst, most poorly-written, piece of glurge I've ever had the misfortune to read. I kept reading it thinking "this has got to get better."
But it didn't!
-------------------- "Das war ein Vorspiel nur, dort wo man Bücher verbrennt, verbrennt man auch am Ende Menschen." - Heinrich Heine Posts: 17 | From: Reading, PA | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Whoever wrote that owes me a new keyboard, because I puked all over mine.
-------------------- "If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf Posts: 977 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
again with the cutesy dialoge-indication devices.
The characters didn't say a lot but other things they did:
-stated -retorted -demanded -stated (again)(and while "staring intensely at her face", creepy much?) -quietly asked (to go along with that "smiling subtley" - what, we have the freaking Mona Lisa) -*abruptly* stated (not to be confused with just plain old stated) -and they take a break from stating stuff to "smile richly". Now I don't have any idea what that even means, so it was a relief to me when they nod and grin ear to ear because at least I am familiar with the gesture - but back to dialog, where they- -STATED!! again! and finally, once more - they - -stated.
"How to Write More Better" continuing education class teacher to aspiring glurge writer: "Yes, you DID eliminate the overuse of the word "said." However merely crossing out all the "saids" and replacing them with "stateds" is...just not quite clear on the concept, Miss Victoria Lush Ripleybodice..."
-------------------- "Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit
(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad) Posts: 2397 | From: Texarkana, TX | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
I feel I must state that I nod my head in rich, wholehearted assension with snapdragonfly. Aside, you understand, my friends, from the horrifically trite, childish plot, and disgustingly contrived ending, this anecdote presents some of the most garishly bloated prose that I have ever had the misfortune of perusing.
posted
that was lovley...i especially loved how the writer shamelessly threw in some holocaust-goodness way out of left field. personally i didn't see that coming...i doubt even he did.
Posts: 50 | From: Dundee, Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote: Just as she found a lively polka, suddenly a loud roar pierced the melodic tones coming from the radio.
"Turn that garbage off!" demanded Charles, his face contorted with anger.
"Who in their right mind listens to polka?" he continued. "You can't just blast that horrific music in someone else's house! It's a deadly weapon!"
That actually came to my mind. I'd be pretty testy too if someone played polka in my house.
-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Ugh. And right after breakfast too. (I'd post the appropriate reaction image but...)
Posts: 2787 | From: California | Registered: Feb 2000
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by VersesBatman: I'd be pretty testy too if someone played polka in my house.
But are there radio stations that actually play polka? If they're not in violation of some sort of federal regulation, you'd think the station would suffer a quick and painful bankruptcy.
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Canuckistan, I was wondering about that myself.I've heard some scary stuff on radio stations but thank God no polka.
Posts: 1111 | From: Albuquerque, NM | Registered: Dec 2000
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posted
Polka is like Jesus. When you're down, Jesus can "oom pah pah" right into your life and start you dancing. Jesus is the tuba in the polka band, the heatbeat that drives the melody of spiritual and fulfilling existance.
OR... glurge is like polka. Both need to be drawn, quartered, incinerated, ashes jumped upon, thrown to the four winds, and then chastised by the EPA for polluting the air.
-------------------- "There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein Posts: 1058 | From: Yakima, WA | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote: Just as she found a lively polka, suddenly a loud roar pierced the melodic tones coming from the radio.
"Turn that garbage off!" demanded Charles, his face contorted with anger.
"This isn't garbage!" exclaimed Helen. "This is Weird Al Yankovic!"
Everybody POLKA!!
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
I'd presume Jesus ain't around this story since the "turn arounder person" is Jewish.
When I first read this, I thought of the old heart attack guy in that railroad short on MST3K (with the priest that seems to bring death to his parishoners). Then they throw in a little Who's Life Is It Anyway? (for those two or three of us that have seen that movie) and Harold and Maude for good measure.
Trish "Do you take this bionic man..." DaDish
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by TrishDaDish: I'd presume Jesus ain't around this story since the "turn arounder person" is Jewish.
we don't *know* she's Jewish, just that her family was extinguished in a concentration camp. they could have been Polish Catholics, gypsies - any of the 5 million non-Jewish Holocaust victims.
-------------------- "pardon me, I swallowed down the wrong throat." Posts: 27 | From: Albuquerque, New Mexico | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
If you like dancing *pretending * you can dance does NOT cut it. And a parapeligic man who enjoyed reading would immerse himself in books to cut through the boredom and forget his situation for a while. The glurge was written by someone who not only has never been disabled or dealt with chronic illness, but also never bothered to get to know anyone with disabling health problems. It's not about courage, or optimism. It's grieving for what you lost and then finding a way to carry on. And anyone who has been through it doesn't like this kind of treacle-glurge.
Posts: 457 | From: Sacramento, CA | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Canuckistan: But are there radio stations that actually play polka? .
A JackFM station perhaps?
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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-------------------- So much to sew...so little time; Oh well, I guess I'll just play ANOTHER game of Freecell! Posts: 8 | From: Philadelphia, PA | Registered: Apr 2006
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by DawnStorm:
quote:Originally posted by Canuckistan: But are there radio stations that actually play polka?
A JackFM station perhaps?
No. They play what they want.
And nobody in the radio business could possibly want polka. There's a lot of crap out there, but polka just ain't on the airwaves.
I hope.
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I've heard polka whilst turning my dial before, though I live in an area that celebrates Oktoberfest, so...
ETA: And at said fest, I saw the Mayor in lederhosen.
-------------------- Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer." A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!" "Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND GodRe-AnimateGreenPorkBush Posts: 3986 | From: Illinois, jealous? | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I'm with kmcm on this one. The OP says he's paraplegic, not quadraplegic. And yet he has "one good finger", a "limp hand" and had to use his eyes to motion Helen over. Since I couldn't get past that, the rest just sort of when through my head in a "What the hell are they on about?" kind of way.
-------------------- You have just been involved in a drive-by posting. Posts: 204 | From: CQ, Australia | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Man, these people in Glurgeland would cry at the opening of a Wal-Mart. Or at least "fight back tears", if they were male. Actually, I'm waiting for that glurge - "Why Jesus Loves Everyday Low Prices".
-------------------- The book says, "We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us." - Magnolia Posts: 252 | From: East Greenwich, RI, what! | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by snopes: "They are the ones who gave me the tiny white picture many years ago, and before I left for college they told me that what that picture reflects is up to ME."
Was she going to college to get her degree in housekeeping?
Posts: 763 | From: Chicago | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by snopes: Helen smiled subtly, and said, "Oh no, sir. It is a beautiful snow fall, or perhaps it is a fluffy white cotton ball, or a crisp white bed sheet hanging outside on a line outside to dry." She continued, "That picture is like ones life. Either it can remain a blank canvas, or we can make something beautiful and meaningful out of it. The choice is ours."
Yes, the picture can be blank or something beautiful - like a cotton ball or bedsheet. You know, beautiful things.
Gee, I'll thing I'll run out to the mall right now and go to Deck The Walls and look for a beautiful picture of a cotton ball. That would really make the kind of statement on beauty I'm looking for in my home.
-------------------- "I have a cunning plan" Posts: 287 | From: Bloomington, IN | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by snopes: Upon composing themselves and unplugging the radio, Charles used his eyes to motion for Helen to come near him. Helen knelt near his wheel chair to ensure that they could face one another.
This is where I thought it was going to get really good. I must just have a dirty mind.
quote:Originally posted by TrishDaDish: I'd presume Jesus ain't around this story since the "turn arounder person" is Jewish.
we don't *know* she's Jewish, just that her family was extinguished in a concentration camp. they could have been Polish Catholics, gypsies - any of the 5 million non-Jewish Holocaust victims.
I do stand corrected. On the other hand, this is glurge we're talking about...
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by snopes: Upon composing themselves and unplugging the radio, Charles used his eyes to motion for Helen to come near him. Helen knelt near his wheel chair to ensure that they could face one another.
This is where I thought it was going to get really good. I must just have a dirty mind.
Hey! That was also my reaction.
-------------------- "No matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'" Posts: 1112 | From: Ohio | Registered: Jul 2000
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