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Author Topic: Mayonnaise Jar
eif
Jingle Bell Hock


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Not Glurge but a rather nice view on life...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee.

A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

"The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

"The sand is everything else-the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

"The same goes for life.

"If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

"Play with your children.”Take time to get medical checkups.

"Take your partner out to dinner.

"Play another 18.

"There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.

"Set your priorities.

"The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

"It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

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Where I come from we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it History.

Posts: 506 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Shadowduck
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by eif:
Not Glurge but a rather nice view on life...

I have to disagree. It's glurge, albeit one of the better ones.

A belated welcome to the boards, by the way! [Smile]

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But of course, I could be wrong.

Posts: 858 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Tangueray and Whine
Deck the Malls


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Can I use a Miracle Whip jar instead? Nothing against mayo, I just don't happen to have any mayo jars lying around.

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If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?

Posts: 332 | From: Arizona | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Methuselah
Happy Holly Days


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This piece is much better when the coffee is replaced with beer...a smart-ass student stands up at the end and pours a beer in the jar to show that your life isn't truly full without beer.

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"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton

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BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Hear, hear, Methuselah!

Yawn, the first time I heard this glurge, I gagged on my passifier. This old horse has been going around for years, although every time I hear it, the person doing the demonstration has a different profession. I've heard it about a preacher, a wise old grandfather, an army sergeant, a lawyer, and a high school principal.

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"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

Posts: 858 | From: Arlington, Texas | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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What if one's mayonnaise jar is filled with mayonnaise?

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Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

Posts: 3986 | From: Illinois, jealous? | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Welcome to the wonderful world of snopes, eif! [Smile]

Signora Del "This place is a lot of fun!" Drago

ETA: Whoops! You've been here longer than I have. My bad. [Roll Eyes]

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"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Tangueray and Whine
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by candy(cane) from strangers:
What if one's mayonnaise jar is filled with mayonnaise?

Well, then, you'll just have to squish some golf balls down into it to represent...er...something.

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If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?

Posts: 332 | From: Arizona | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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