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Author Topic: Ice Cream Prayer
AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Just when I thought I had trained everybody who emails me about not forwarding me glurge, I get this gem:
quote:

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!" Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer. "

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied. Then in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes." Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman; With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already."
The End

Angl "I may never eat ice cream again" Rdr

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"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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Cowboy Bebop
The Red and the Green Stamps


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*shakes head* No wonder why some kids are screwed up.
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Cowboy Bebop
The Red and the Green Stamps


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*shakes head* No wonder why some kids have screwed-up brains.

I'm just wondering if this woman has taught their kids that doing this in public might rub-off wrong to some folks. All I can say is, may god help this child when he's older....

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Inna Gouda Davida
The Red and the Green Stamps


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So it's supposed to be cute that the little kid tells a complete stranger that she's got a crappy soul, right?

InnaGouda "of course, I suppose she deserves it for eavesdropping on the prayer and then critiquing it in the first place" Davida

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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And of course, no glurge would be complete without the old dowager lady, complete with opera glass in hand, and her "Why, I never!" shtick. [Smile]
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Nofret
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Personally, I think that this kid is a long way from innocent. Manipulative would be the word I would use.

First he asks, loudly enough for other people to hear, if he can say grace here in the RESTAURANT. So the prayer is clearly meant to be heard by other people, and not necessarily by God.

Then we have the prayer itself:

"God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Very obvious hint to Mom to get ice cream for dessert, but what about the rest of it? "And liberty and justice for all"? Come on! He's six! He may not know what "one nation, indivisible" means, but he should know the difference between the Pledge of Allegiance and a prayer. (Unless he's related to those judges who decided to throw out the entire Pledge rather than the words "under God.")

Hell, I was saying the Pledge in Montessori school when I was two, and I knew the difference between the Pledge I said at school and the Our Father I said at bedtime. I think, once again, the child is going for the cutesy factor.

This kid is the ultimate realist: he knows that if he says something that sounds vaguely prayerlike, his mommy will say to herself, "Aw, isn't that CUTE?" and buy him exactly what he wants. And he is correct. His mother is doing a great job of teaching him how to use religion manipulate people for his own ends.

Too bad she doesn't know it.

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The Melody's Harmony
The Red and the Green Stamps


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The kid's an obnxious little sod, inthe? Stupid, too.

From another thread:
Now this is GLURGE! It's got kids, God, grumpy old women getting their comeuppance. All it needs is a death and it would be perfect. Wait a minute . . . can we make the old lady lactose intolerant?


Then, my son fainted and started seizing. It turned out he had some deadly disease. We took him to the hospital, but it was too late.
At the funeral, we saw the lady who had inexplicably got the date and address of the funeral. She was a changed woman.
Then, we saw something in the boys coffin: ice cream. We asked around, and everyone denied putting it there. Upon closer examination, there was also a note that said "Here's for the road...the road to heaven. Love, Jesus." A tear rolled down my cheek as I read the note.

Melody "bad, but...yeah" Beech.

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Mouse
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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To borrow a quote from Wikere Tomba:

quote:
Kid learns fast. Only six years old and he's already got the smarmy attitude and the "I'm a better Christian than you are" message down cold.


--------------------
"You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR

"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by AnglRdr:
my soul is good already."
The End

Well excuse me for living. Want me to kiss your ring? [Roll Eyes]

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Brandi
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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There's a part of me that, if the kid gave me the ice cream, would probably shove it in his face very hard while saying "Thanks, you smug little NFBSKer."

But that's bad and wrong.

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I'm 20th Century Fox
Happy Holly Days


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OK, since this thread has been resurrected........I think I'll go to Micky D's and be snotty to some kid's ice cream prayer, 'cause I'm broke today and would really love some ice cream!

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When my chin is on the ground I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.

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The Melody's Harmony
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Brandi:
There's a part of me that, if the kid gave me the ice cream, would probably shove it in his face very hard while saying "Thanks, you smug little NFBSKer."

But that's bad and wrong.

If that's bad and wrong, I wouldn't want to be good and right. I'm an Atheist and even I would find that prayer offensive. The kid was obviously trying to find a cutesy way to trick his parents in ice cream. He didn't care about God. But Jesus and children, children and Jesus--who could resist? Ugh.
And instead of giving him ice cream, I'd give him a lesson on the difference between the Pledge of Allegiance and a grace. Taking that, they could probably make another glurge about "under God" in the Pledge.

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Wizard with her nose in a spellbook
The Red and the Green Stamps


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What a brat. That isn't a cute prayer, it's an obnoxious way to beg for ice cream. I am, however, a bit shocked that the woman in this story wasn't an atheist (or an atheist professor...).
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Dark Jaguar
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Bad, and wrong, it's badwrong. Rather, it's badong!
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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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quote:
Originally posted by Dark Jaguar:
Bad, and wrong, it's badwrong. Rather, it's badong!

It's double-plus ungood!

Pogue

--------------------
Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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resELution
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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What? All we have is a biddy old shrew quetioning the meaning of the prayer? No ultra liberal althiest quetioning the childs ablility to pray in public at all?

Where's Miss Hen when we need her?

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Minstrel gone caroling
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads in preparation to be publicly shamed by more of his bratty manipulation he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!" Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby I heard a woman who looked like she must be an ultra-liberal feminist college professor remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream! Why, I never! Especially when God doesn’t even exist! What’s wrong with that mother, teaching her children such disgusting, outdated superstition? "

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him because we all know that if we correct our children they will grow up dysfunctional and wind up as guests on Springer, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied. ”God loves manipulative little bastards who only use prayer as an excuse for begging.” Then in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes. Actually, I can think of something she needs more than ice cream, but it’s not appropriate to mention sex in glurge!" Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. I know my son’s going to grow up to be a spoiled jerk with control issues, but he’s just so darn cute. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman; with a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already." At that point, still smiling, he picked it up and dumped the ice cream into the woman’s lap. I can’t believe she said I never taught my son any manners. Where does that atheist ho get off? How dare she question my child’s belief in God? I believe that little Joey dumping ice cream on the woman’s lap was the will of God—she had to be punished for not being a Christian! She should have been thanking my boy! I gave her a Chick Tract, and she had the gall to use it to wipe some of the ice cream off her pants! And to complain to the manager and have us tossed out of the restaurant, well, that was completely uncalled for. Stupid bitch.
The End

According to the Episcopal Church’s 1979 Book of Common Prayer, prayer is “responding to God, by thought and by deeds, with or without words.” On the other hand, sin is defined as “the seeking of our own will instead of the will of God, thus
distorting our relationship with God, with other people, and with all creation.” So, if they’re Episcopalians, kid and mom are goin’ down!

detroit “god is not a leprechaun granting wishes!” minstrel

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Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.
My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking.
Countdown: 177 days (or less!)

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Wizard with her nose in a spellbook
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by detroitminstrel:
Where does that atheist ho get off?

[lol] I know it's been almost a week, but YOMANK! That is the funniest thing I've seen all day. I can't really figure out why. Perhaps it's the Jerry Springer quality of it. Gold, detroitminstrel, pure gold.

Blue "Oh no he di'int! You don't knoooooooow me!" Wizard

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Minstrel gone caroling
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Hooray! My very first YOMANK ever!

--------------------
Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.
My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking.
Countdown: 177 days (or less!)

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Tangueray and Whine
Deck the Malls


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[lol] That was great, DM!

...who looked like she must be an ultra-liberal feminist college professor...

Yeah, and I bet she teaches that E-VO-LU-SHIN stuff, too! [lol]

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If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?

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