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Author Topic: A drug problem
rockland6674
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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This glurge is short, but its smug, righteous tone annoyed me more than any other glurge I've received to date.

------------------------------------------------------------

A Drug Problem

I had a drug problem when I was young.
I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for wedding and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions no matter the weather.
I was drug to the bus stop to go to school every weekday.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.
Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in every
thing I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or
heroin, and if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America
might be a better place.

Posts: 934 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Zem
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Nothing says "Educate our children to keep them off drugs" like showing you never learned English yourself.
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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.

Yeah, more child abuse would really make America a better place. [Mad]

--------------------
"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Fibia Cashew
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Cervus:
quote:

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.

Yeah, more child abuse would really make America a better place. [Mad]
Kind of makes you want to "drug" the author in the street by his NFBSK, doesn't it? [Wink]
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Mouse
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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And back in my day we didn't believe in such pinko concepts as proper grammar. Naw we just ain't and cain't until the cow came home. Then we'd cut ourselves a hickory switch and hit each other. That's what we did for fun back then and sure some of us have permanent scarring but dang it! It made us the proud generation you see know.

[fish] [Razz] [Big Grin]

--------------------
"You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR

"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony

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tdn
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Mouse:
until the cow came home.

Until the cow come home.
Posts: 3800 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Until the cows come home.
The cow comes home.
past tense the cow came home.

Moooo

--------------------
Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

Posts: 7465 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
resELution
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.
[Eek!] What went on in the wood shed?!? Is anyone else here reminded of the movie Frailty ?

resE"You're not a demon, are you?"Lution

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Isaac
Happy Holly Days


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I did drugs in the woodshed, too. Except they were actual drugs.

--------------------
All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.

Posts: 1600 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mouse
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by resEviLution:
quote:
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.
[Eek!] What went on in the wood shed?!? Is anyone else here reminded of the movie Frailty ?

resE"You're not a demon, are you?"Lution

You've seen that movie too. I thought I was the only one.

[dunce]

--------------------
"You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR

"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony

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Mouse
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by guruwan2b:
Until the cows come home.
The cow comes home.
past tense the cow came home.

Moooo

Sorry about the double post but I was joking.
[fish]

--------------------
"You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR

"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony

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tdn
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by guruwan2b:
Until the cows come home.
The cow comes home.
past tense the cow came home.

Don't hassle me with none of your fancy book learnin'.
Posts: 3800 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
resELution
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by tdn:
quote:
Originally posted by guruwan2b:
Until the cows come home.
The cow comes home.
past tense the cow came home.

Don't hassle me with none of your fancy book learnin'.
Have we become so used to reading poor grammer that we've now become experts on it? [lol]

It seems like the OP was written that way intentionally, to sound old fashioned and sentimental. In glurge land, people with old fashioned, po-dunk piss poor grammer are smarter by far than those of us living in a more modern, educated era. [Roll Eyes]

resE"That's one more thing to add to our list of growing glurge cliches."Lution

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MisterGrey
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by resEviLution:
quote:
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.
[Eek!] What went on in the wood shed?!? Is anyone else here reminded of the movie Frailty ?

resE"You're not a demon, are you?"Lution

More like reminded of Deliverance [Eek!]
Posts: 2711 | From: Texas | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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