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Author Topic: Do You Take Your Shoes Off?
smackmac
Jingle Bell Hock


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Depending on the wishes of the homeowner, of course. We had friends who required everyone to remove their shoes if they went to the main area of the house (brand new white carpet). That carpet looked just as good when they sold their house 8 years later as it did when they put it down.

I hate shoes. I don't much like socks. I will go down to bare feet if it won't offend the host.

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JFB
Jingle Bell Hock


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I take off my shoes when asked.

But I leave my hat on.

J "Ba da da da da!" FB

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FullMetal
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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one other thing in relation to the article... My Grandfather-in-law who asked me to keep my shoes on, actually lived in Calgary. supposedly the bastion of shoes off according to the article...
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Errata
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I just do whatever the host and other guests do. In my own home, family's homes, and many of my friends, that default is to take shoes off. But I would never just assume that at a new home without looking to see. People seem a bit more likely to keep their shoes on for larger more formal parties than for more casual visits.

Climate does play a role. Its so dry here that realistically there isn't much of a dirt problem from keeping your shoes on. But most of the people I know, myself included, come from elsewhere in the world, and bring our diverse habits with us.

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Stormfeather
Silver Sells


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This is all weird to me, I'd thought that in general the U.S. had people keep their shoes on in someone's home, unless a) asked to remove them to keep things neat, or b) it's a close friend's house where you're about as much home as, well, at home. I guess that must just be a regional thing though - for my part, around here I can only remember one home offhand where I've been asked to remove my shoes (although I don't tend to go out much, honestly).

Myself, in my own home I'm always shoeless. I just much prefer it - but I'd think it'd be rude and presumptuous (not logically, just as a matter of how I grew up) to just waltz into a stranger's home and whip my shoes off, which is the reason I'd keep them on, despite usually being more comfortable with them off. (If it was extremely cold floors or rugs covered in sticky juice from a young kid, that might be different!)

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BeachLife
The Bills of St. Mary's


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Okay, I have to ask as it's been mentioned several times, how often do people encouter houses where the floor is too nasty (due to animal hair, juice, etc) to walk on in socks or barefeet? That's just something I don't recall encountering anytime recently.

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Zamboni_Rodeo
Deck the Malls


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I prefer to run around without shoes indoors, but I only take them off if the host asks me to or if it's someone I know really well. I wouldn't take my shoes off at, say, a fancy dinner party my boss was throwing, or at the house of someone I was visiting for the first or second time.

As far as at my house, I let people do whichever they prefer.

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pirateslife
Deck the Malls


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I entered DH's office holiday party in stocking feet last year- there was deep mud in the parking lot, and my high heels broke through. I politely asked the first person I saw where the restroom was so that I could clean my shoes.

In Memphis, almost no one removes shoes upon entering a house. Though I read in a house-cleaning book that most of the dirt tracked into a home was from the home owners' shoes, not the guests. Guests only caused about 10% or so of tracked in dirt.
I take off my shoes if I see the host or other guests do; since I almost always wear flip-flops (I HATE sweaty feet), this is never a problem for me.
I attempted to get DH to take off his shoes in the garage, but for some reason he seems unable to do this. I still usually leave my shoes just inside the door. And I make DH vacuum, since he is the main tracker-of-dirt (though I am the main shedder-of-hair) and I have a bad back.
If my friends want to take off their shoes, that's fine, but I don't care .

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Bach_girl
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I don't wear shoes in my house or anyone else's. If someone is coming beyond the doorway, they are expected to take their shoes off. I have never had to tell anyone (that was over the age of 13) to take their shoes off, and I probably wouldn't, but it would make me pretty mad if they tracked in snow, water, dirt, etc.

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frogpond
Jingle Sales


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Where I live it is not the norm to take shoes off when entering. I've only known one family that required it, and I thought it rather odd considering they had a big dog that freely wandered in doors and out. As my extremities get chilled easily I hope this practice does not come into vogue here, plus my completely flat feet are not my most attractive feature.

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James G.
Xboxing Day


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Generally it will depend on the friend. If they take shoes off I will do so, and will also take them off if they are dirty. Generaly if I leave them on its because it doesn't appear expected that I should remove them and the shoes are clean.

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evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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I generally just follow the crowd. If everyone else is unshod, I'll fllow suit; if not, they stay on. Of course going barefoot feels rather casual to me, so I'd be reluctant to take my shoes off if I were dressed up (well, until my feet started to hurt). At home, I either shuck'em by the door or take them off in my room. Usually by the door. I generally keep them on if I'm going to go somewhaere in the near future.
Of course, at home, I generally also take my socks off, which I wouldn't do at someone else's house.

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Nion
We Three Blings


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I take off my shoes if it is (or seems to be) expected of me at whatever home I am visiting, or they are soiled to a point that I risk dirtying up their home.

I prefer to keep them on for a couple of reasons. Mostly it's a comfort thing. I can come and go as I please, and there's no scramble to put shoes on if the homeowner wants to show me his/her new whatever outside. The other reason is I simply feel more "normal" wearing my shoes. I feel silly/awkward with my gleaming-white socks sticking out like a sore thumb, especially if I'm dressed up at all.

I always, ALWAYS defer to the preferences of the homeowners, though. I'd rather be somewhat uncomfortable than upset or inconvenience the homeowner/s.

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Jenn
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Originally posted by Nion:
I feel silly/awkward with my gleaming-white socks sticking out like a sore thumb, especially if I'm dressed up at all.

I wear silly novelty socks intentionally (usually over top of warmer white socks since fun socks are quite thin). It works especially well if I won't know many people at the house party since silly socks seem to be a great icebreaker and conversation starter. I say embrace the silliness and awkwardness and make it work for you.

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Lydia Oh Lydia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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When I come home, the first thing I do is take my shoes off. I would prefer that no one wore shoes in my house, but it's impossible to enforce that rule since DH won't abide by it.

When I go to someone else's house, I leave my shoes on unless I'm requested to take them off or it's someone I know really well. I guess this goes to the manners thing. When I was growing up, we were taught that it was rude to take your shoes off in someone's house when you were a just a visitor. Now, I assume I should keep my shoes off unless given the option to remove them.

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NorthernLite
We Three Blings


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In pretty much every place that I have lived in Canada it has been the custom to remove your shoes when you enter the home. I have even seen it at fancy dinner parties. I feel out of sorts if I am wearing shoes indoors, like I have to tiptoe wherever I am going.

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LyndaD
Jingle Bell Hock


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I don't wear shoes indoors in my own house. During winter I wear socks, during warmer weather, I'm barefoot. When I go to familiar places (parents, close friends), my shoes come off, but i'll leave them on in homes of people I don't know very well.

I also drive shoeless. During warmer months my shoes often don't make it out of the car. DH's left for work with half my shoes, leaving me to wear my old battered tennies to school.

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Mosherette
Deck the Malls


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If I notice other people have removed their shoes I'll take mine off but otherwise I don't. I am somehow blessed with both bad circulation (= permanently cold feet) and stinky feet, so all of us would probably prefer it if my shoes stayed on... [Wink]

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FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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I only remove my shoes if it is insisted upon by the host. I have foot problems and going barefoot for an extended period hurts. I hate taking off my shoes (well, boots, actually) for anyone. My boots stay on from the time I put them on in the morning till I take them off just before going to bed.

Frog-I used to love going barefoot, now I'm paying for it in pain-Feathers

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Delia Darrow
I Saw Three Shipments


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I'm barefoot all the time, indoors and out, unless I'm going on a rare visit to a public place. I wear sandals in the snow (and a smile that won't wash away) because the only shoes I can stand are sandals. They have to be open-toed. I had horrible ingrown toenails when I was a kid, infected and painful. I started wearing sandals then, fashionably sans socks, and I've become so accustomed to nekkid feet it's an OCD nightmare to wear anything but air. My feet don't bother to register 'cold' anymore, they simply set up a vaguely painful gnawing feeling if I stay out in freezing weather too long. That is not to say my feet never feel cold to others. "I will touch you with my feet" is a threat my DH takes very seriously.

Other people's houses are a different story. It's not usual to take one's shoes off at the door here, plus, I smoke, and in this health-concious age I go outside to light up. It would be an incredible PITA to have to shoe-up every time I went out.

I have only been asked to remove my shoes once. On Thanksgiving, my BIL asked my DH and I to tour their new obnoxiously ostentatious house. When we got there, there were people working on the landscaping. I commented that it would really suck to be working in the cold while everyone else was eating turkey. My BIL quipped "Oh, I think it's great! My contractor hired all these Mexicans, and he made 'em work 'cause they don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Mexico!" I was so shocked at his idiocy that I just stood there dumbly when he asked me to take my "dirty shoes" off. My sandals weren't dirty. I ended up hanging out on the porch chainsmoking while my DH (who has more forebearance) toured the mansion.

quote:
Okay, I have to ask as it's been mentioned several times, how often do people encouter houses where the floor is too nasty (due to animal hair, juice, etc) to walk on in socks or barefeet?
Uh, that would be my house. I have really old rugs with plenty of cat hair and lint, liberally strewn with sharp, broken nutshells. I have indoor-outdoor squirrels, and they don't 'bus their own tables'. It's a veritable minefield. Doesn't bother me with my indoor-outdoor feet, but my DH has moisturised, soft, baby-pink soles and He's quietly plotting squirrel fricassee. [Smile]

Sorry this was so long. It's the 3a.m. hour of boredom.

~Delia

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Don Enrico
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Over here, there's no general rule - some people do wear their shoes at home, some don't; some ask their guests to remove their shoes, some don't.

I always remove my shoes when asked to, and I usually do when I am given the option - either expressedly or by the host wearing no shoes - and feel comfortable enough with the host(s).

At home, I remove my shoes as soon as possible, but I don't care what my guests do.

Don Enrico

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Scout
The First USA Noel


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I take my shoes off it they're muddy, but otherwise it wouldn't really occur to me to take my shoes off going in to someone elses house, I'd wipe my feet on the way in, but I wouldn't think to take my shoes off.

Saying that, if I'm going in to someone elses house with them, and they take their shoes off then I will do the same.

At home, if I know I'm not going outside for a while I usually swap my shoes for slippers as I like to be able to curl up with my feet on the sofa.

As for visitors to my house, I don't understand why it would be seen as rude to take your shoes off.. if someone wants to take their shoes off they're more than welcome to, but there's really no need.

Scout.

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Gibbie
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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For you shoe taker offers, if you encounter a home where it's not the norm to shed your shoes at the door, do you keep them on? Would you do so if asked or do you insist on taking them off? How best do I convey to you that I'd really rather you didn't take off your shoes?

I've encountered that a few times and haven't really known what to do about it. There's a friend of my daughter's who always takes her shoes off outside the front door, despite my telling her it's ok. But she's over the house so much it's almost like she lives there so I don't think anything of it anymore. I enountered a cable guy once who insisted on taking off his shoes and that really weirded me out. I get that he didn't want to track mud but other workmen have had those little slip on paper covers. Once I was having a distant cousin visit. We'd recently stumbled over each other on the Internet and I found that she only lived a couple of hours from me. Her and her husband drove up one weekend to visit. They entered the foyer, plopped themselves down and started unlacing shoes. My husband and I both said "oh you don't to do that." "Oh no, it's ok we always take off our shoes" "Really, we don't require that, leave them on." "No we're fine" Eeee!

See, to me, having shoes on is part of being dressed. I'd no sooner ask you to take off your shoes at my door than I would ask you to shuck off your shirt. When it's just me and my husband and my daughter at home then we're all barefoot. But if we have people over, then usually my husband and I both put shoes on, because you just can't be half dressed in front of company. If I have very close friends or family over, then it's ok. But otherwise, no.

Gibbie

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Cestrian
I Saw Three Shipments


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In Turkey, shoes are taken off at the door, always. Every house or apartment I've been to, the occupants will have a supply of slippers which they give to their guests to wear. In fact in some houses they will even change slippers at the bathroom door. [Given that some Turkish toilets are still the hole in the floor type this is not altogether a strange thing.]

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Soft Hyphen
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Originally posted by Gibbie:
For you shoe taker offers, if you encounter a home where it's not the norm to shed your shoes at the door, do you keep them on? Would you do so if asked or do you insist on taking them off? How best do I convey to you that I'd really rather you didn't take off your shoes?

I take off my shoes pretty much always. There are only two reasons why I wouldn't:
-The floor is really filthy
-The owners insist that I keep my shoes on

That second one is tricky, though. You have to make it clear that you really want me to keep my shoes on, not that you're just trying to be an accomodating host.

"Really, we don't require that, leave them on." definitely won't do it. Try a forceful, "Please, leave them on. It makes me feel more comfortable. Really!" Repeat several times if necessary - it may not sink in the first time.

It's not that I (or others like me) are trying to be difficult. I know that I simply don't "get" keeping shoes on in the house. Both because I think it's far more comfortbale to take them off and because I certainly wouldn't want people walking around my house in their street shoes.

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BeachLife
The Bills of St. Mary's


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quote:
Originally posted by Nion:
...I feel silly/awkward with my gleaming-white socks sticking out like a sore thumb, especially if I'm dressed up at all....

Why do you where gleaming-white socks when you are dressed up?

Gibbie, Even though I generally take my shoes off indoors and people generally take their shows off at my house, I look for cues when visiting another's house for the first time. It's usually pretty easy to tell, and one needn't ask or be told.

If I do happen into a house where everyone is wearing shoes and my shoes are wet or muddy, I will probably say something like 'let me take my shoes off so I don't dirty your floor'. If the host insists otherwise, I will wipe as best I can and proceed.

On the days with the worst weather, if anyone has any tread on their shoes it is simply impossible to wipe them enough so that they will not track on carpet. But, I think that the areas of the world that have this kind of weather consistantly are few.

Beach...when I was growing up I thought I knew weather, then I moved to Michigan...Life!

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Confessions of a Dragon's scribe
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AdmiralDinty
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I take my shoes off in my own home almost automatically upon entering, but I always wear shoes in everyone else's. Of course, there are exceptions: if the owner asks me to, or if I know my shoes are very muddy or snowy I'll do it.

I think it's a comfortability thing for me. I feel more comfortable not wearing shoes in my own house, but more comfortable wearing them elsewhere.

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Hero_Mike
Happy Holly Days


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Two years ago, and last year, I spent a lot of time looking for a new house. I saw probably at least 50 on "open house", and maybe another 25+ with my agent. Not once in all that time did I encounter a house where it was permitted to leave your shoes on. Every homeowner showing their house had left instructions to remove shoes at the foyer. On many open houses people brought their shoes with them in case they went to tour the back yard (or an unfinished basement), but they were never worn. It would be highly rude and disrespectful to do otherwise, I think.

This was Canada - southern Ontario - but I was house-shopping in all 4 seasons. And while none of these were what I would call "mansions", they were all kept well enough that it looked like nobody wore shoes inside the house.

That said, I have 3 pairs of shoes which are "strictly indoor" and have never ventured out into the open beyond my deck or front porch. Few things hurt more than a stubbed toe while vacuuming, and I can't climb my stepladder (to change a lightbulb) without wearing shoes.

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FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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Okay, I should have said I will remove my shoes if they are muddy and such. Otherwise, I leave my shoes on everywhere unless asked by the host.

In my house, I'd never ask anyone. I have two dogs and three cats. I wouldn't dare ask anyone to walk around here sock-footed!

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"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

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NorthernLite
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Gibbie:
For you shoe taker offers, if you encounter a home where it's not the norm to shed your shoes at the door, do you keep them on? Would you do so if asked or do you insist on taking them off? How best do I convey to you that I'd really rather you didn't take off your shoes?

Gibbie

I have encountered homes where they wear shoes indoors. What usually happens is that, as I am preparing to take my shoes off, the host says, "Oh, leave your shoes on. We wear ours indoors." In that case I do leave my shoes on. And generally feel a little uncomfortable.

quote:
Originally posted by Gibbie:
See, to me, having shoes on is part of being dressed. I'd no sooner ask you to take off your shoes at my door than I would ask you to shuck off your shirt.

And to me, having shoes and boots on is part of being dressed for outside. I would no sooner leave my shoes on in someone's home than I would leave on my coat, gloves or toque.

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You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles

Posts: 1074 | From: High Level, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jenn
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Originally posted by Gibbie:
For you shoe taker offers, if you encounter a home where it's not the norm to shed your shoes at the door, do you keep them on? Would you do so if asked or do you insist on taking them off? How best do I convey to you that I'd really rather you didn't take off your shoes?

I've never actually encountered it before. Everything NorthernLite said goes for me too, with the addition that I will be less uncomfortable since everyone else is wearing shoes. I will also be more comfortable if the house isn't carpeted. I have left my shoes on to run in and pick something up from a friend's house, but they had easy to clean tile floor.

I wonder if having a variety of slippers available to offer would be a good compromise for those times when you have guests who really insist on taking their shoes off?

quote:
See, to me, having shoes on is part of being dressed. I'd no sooner ask you to take off your shoes at my door than I would ask you to shuck off your shirt.... But if we have people over, then usually my husband and I both put shoes on, because you just can't be half dressed in front of company.
Again, ditto NL with the shoes being outerwear. To leave shoes on would be like leaving their jacket on, which would give me the feeling that they're in a hurry and ready to run out the door any minute. It almost carries that feeling that if people leave their outerwear on they don't really want to be here spending time with me. However, it does help me wrap my head around it to hear your perspective.

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"You're the opposite of troll. It's a compliment!"

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Il-Mari
We Three Blings


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In Finland, you'd practically always take them off.

When I'm in America or elsewhere abroad, I observe what the other guests or hosts do in a given situation then follow their lead.

- Il-Mari

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When you mix faith with science, you serve neither and weaken both.

- Richard P. Sloan and Larry VandeCreek

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callee
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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One other thing I wanted to consider, and has been mentioned, is the issue of bare feet. I don't mind as much taking my shoes off when it will leave me in sock feet, but if I happen to have sandals on and taking them off would result in bare feet, that feels really weird to me. I'm not sure how much basis there is for this, but I've always assumed a barefeet=dirty mentality. I'm not sure that bare feet really are the bacteria filled unmentionables that I probably think they are, but I have to admit that I wouldn't want my bare feet dragging all over other people's carpets and furniture, and I certainly wouldn't want their's on mine! I mean, it's not quite in the same league as say britney sitting on your couch while wearing no underwear, but somewhat close it feels.

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a moment for old friends now estranged, victims of the flux of alliances and changing perceptions. There was something there once, and that something is worth honoring as well. - John Carroll

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Aud
We Three Blings


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It's interesting me that someone would consider shoes outer apparel like a coat. The way some people obsess about shoes you'd think they were intimates. To me they are things to protect my poor feet. It would be more like asking me to remove my glasses.
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NorthernLite
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Aud:
It's interesting me that someone would consider shoes outer apparel like a coat.

My shoes and boots are something that I wear outside 99% of the time and seldom wear inside. Why wouldn't I consider them outside apparel?

quote:
Originally posted by Aud:
The way some people obsess about shoes you'd think they were intimates.

[silliness] People obsess about their cars. I ask them to leave those outside as well [/silliness]

quote:
Originally posted by Aud:
To me they are things to protect my poor feet. It would be more like asking me to remove my glasses.

You stated earlier that following your foot surgery your feet were very sensitive and that you wore your shoes to protect them. Knowing that, there is no way that I would expect you to take your shoes off.

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You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles

Posts: 1074 | From: High Level, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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